Most people tend to have many expectations about how their relationship will work or what they will benefit from it. This may be similar to those romantic acts picked from the scenes of your favorite romantic movie or novel. However, when these expectations do not match those of your partner, in other words, are unrealistic, they may leave you disappointed and ruin your relationship.
This doesn’t necessarily mean you should lower your standards, instead, it means you should reevaluate your values and ensure they align with those of your partner. To help you avoid these unrealistic expectations that may ruin your relationship, we have come up with a list of 10 of such expectations and ways to handle them.
1. You Expect Your Partner to be in Touch With You Constantly
As much as relationships require both parties to have good communication with each other, it doesn’t mean that they should always be in touch. Apart from the relationship, your partner has his or her personal life. There is work, family, dreams, business, career, and more. If your partner calls you thrice or twice daily and texts you in between these times, it is good enough – at least for a start.
You don’t expect your partner to call you 5 or 7 times every day. They have other things to do, at least work. Also, if your partner prefers to spend their leisure time or days off work alone at home, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Be mindful of how you interpret his acts, he or she may just have something pressing to handle alone.
2. Your Partner Should Look Peng Always
Do you always compare your partner to your celebrity crush? Beyonce or Drake? You might have heard this but the truth is, looks fade with time. If you always want your partner to look as they are or like someone you believe is jaw-droppingly beautiful or handsome, you’re in for a great disappointment.
It is okay to want your partner to look great. You can speak to them to lose or gain some pounds but do not expect them to look that way for life. If you build your love on looks, bear in mind that those things will fade. At some point, you will see someone who is more beautiful or handsome than your partner. At such a point, it is your love that will keep you together with your partner.
3. Know My Feelings
Communication is an essential key in every relationship. You are supposed to be comfortable around your partner, speak to them clearly without mincing words. Do not expect your partner to read your mind or know what you feel. They are not supernatural beings, they are mere humans just like you.
If you have something bothering you or anything they did that you do not like, tell them honestly. Let them know how you feel about that situation and settle issues amicably. Bottling up your feelings will only ruin your relationship because you will be distant and act weird. Speak about how you feel.
4. We Share Only One Idea
You have to accept the fact that you won’t always share the same idea with your partner. There are times you will have different opinions and beliefs. Being married or in a relationship with someone does not mean they will change their football club or political party. It also does not mean they will willingly change their religion, circle of friends, or hobbies. Accepting these differences will help you live better with your partner.
5. You Expect Sex to be Great Forever
Sex is a great way to improve intimacy between couples or partners. However, at a certain point, your sexual activity with your partner tends to drop. You both will run out of tricks or styles to make your sexual life memorable and satisfying. Sex will become boring and tiring.
Some will also expect to have sex regularly. You need to discuss with your partner to know if you are on the same page. You may want to have sex three times weekly while your partner prefers once weekly or rarely. Cut your expectations and have an open discussion.
6. There Will be no Fights
Do you think there will be no arguments in your relationship? Disagreements are inevitable in every relationship. As bad as it sounds, disagreements allow you to discuss certain issues and see things from each other’s perspective. That notwithstanding, you need to know when to draw the line.
7. You Expect Your Partner To Pay The Bills Always
Most people believe that a certain gender or person is saddled with the responsibility of paying the bills. Well, you should know that relationships should be mutually beneficial. Do not expect your partner to pay the bills for everything; vacation, date, trip, sightseeing, and all.
This is one of the reasons why some people get ditched. No written rule says bills can’t be split between both parties. If you expect your partner to always swipe their credit card or make a transfer for every transaction made by you, then you need to have a second thought.
8. Your Partner Should Apologize First
This is another expectation that has ruined several relationships. Some people expect their partner to always be the first to apologize even when their partner is not wrong. A major feature of a successful and lasting relationship is humility. You should be able to take responsibility for your wrongs, apologize, and make corrections.
Let go of your ego, you won’t always be right thus, apologize when you are wrong. That your partner always tries to smooth. when you have a misunderstanding does not mean you should always expect him to be the first to apologize even when they are not at fault.
9. Their Family and Friends Will Love and Accept You
Most people do not understand that not everyone will like you. If you are in a relationship with someone, do not expect all their friends and family members to love you. Love is a relative feeling. It varies among individuals and is most times a result of certain factors. The most important thing is to ensure you are nice to them and have a healthy relationship with your partner.
10. You Expect Them Not be Attracted to Someone Else
This is a major expectation for many people. It is okay to genuinely love your partner and want them to feel the same way about you and probably more. However, it is not completely possible for them not to notice another beautiful woman pass by. Or a handsome guy with abs and beard. You should know that your partner may admire Kim Kardashian, James Arthur, or any other person.
A good way to know if your expectations are unrealistic is to determine if you constantly feel sad, unappreciated, and unloved by your partner’s actions. If you feel this way, then you should run a thorough check on your expectations. You should also have an open conversation with your partner about what you expect from them. This will help you both have a sincere conversation, be on the same page, and ultimately, have a successful relationship.