It’s a new year, it’s time to reflect, reshuffle and try new things. Some of us are married and some of us are getting ready to be married and what do we all have in common? We all pray to have a successful marriage.
The married ones have had a taste of the bitter and sweet aspects of marriage while the unmarried ones are yet to experience these, but we all wish to experience more of the sweet aspects of marriage to the extent that we don’t want to think of the potentially bitter and stressful parts of it.
So now we have prepared 20 ingredients to help you maintain a sweet successful marriage.
It is important that husbands and wives still continue to indulge in the things they loved before getting married.
Chase your dream, eat what you like, do that job, make that money, wear what you want, it is only when you’re truly satisfied with your life that you can channel that fulfillment into your relationship. A miserable person will make their partners miserable and hence a miserable marriage.
Wouldn’t it be just sad to be married to someone who doesn’t pay attention to you or listens as much as you want? Don’t be that partner, no one likes that partner, always listen, it makes the other feel better and hopeful. And remember hearing is not listening, just because you hear doesn’t mean you have listened.
Trust each other’s intention
If you don’t trust your partner then honestly you shouldn’t be married at all and if you do then this shouldn’t be a problem. Every relationship survives on trust, so don’t listen to gossip and trust your partner, never doubt their actions and intentions!
Always keep your partner in the loop, tell them everything, both good and bad, even if they did something you don’t like, don’t keep a grudge and make sure to tell them how you feel. Bottling things up only blows them out of proportion and also your partner isn’t a telepath until you say what’s on your mind that is the only way they’ll know what you are thinking.
Make plans together and stick to them together
Always do everything together, make plans and budgets together, make sure to be on the same page when making plans about your future together and make sure to keep to it. Don’t sly your partner.
Everything won’t go the way you want and people won’t be exactly how you want them to be, but you can control how you respond to everything. Be accepting of your partner, how they are and whatever situation you both find yourselves in.
Agree to disagree
Everyone is entitled to their opinions and marriages are not without fights, so have it at the back of your mind that there will be fights and both of you will not always be on the same page. So make sure to learn to accept that everyone has a right to their opinion even if it doesn’t agree with yours and don’t act like your opinion is some way more superior to your partner’s.
Remember to take responsibility for your actions, words, and promises. Don’t leave it all to one person to care for the kids, take care of your partner and family. Don’t let your career or work come before your responsibility for your marriage.
Go on dates
You’re married not in jail, go out more together, go on dates, keep the romance alive, and spend time away from home once in a while.
Have lots of sex
Its marriage, not the monastery, I’m not going to tell you how to do your thing, but it does get boring doing the same things, so make to try out new things. Have lots of sex and experiment, even roleplay if it’s your type of kink.
Compliment and encourage each other as much as possible, that’s the easiest way to keep reassuring them how much you love them and believe in them. I know it’s a little gesture but it does so much.
Apologize quickly when you mess up, apologize when they are hurt. Don’t get stubborn and drag things out. Someone has to be the bigger person right?
Buy your partner gifts
Birthdays shouldn’t be the only time you buy your partner’s gift, shower them with presents whenever you can, they deserve it and they are worth it. Don’t be stingy.
Go on vacations
Well, if you have kids, (even if you don’t) raising a family can be stressful, more than jobs sometimes, so make sure to go on trips and spoil yourselves rotten. Everyone deserves a timeout from their normal lifestyle.
Do activities you both enjoy often and together, connect through your hobbies and likes, keep the bond strong.
Respect each other’s privacy
Don’t make it a habit of going through your partner’s personal stuff – like checking their phones – it’s rude. Because you’re married doesn’t mean you are licensed to invade their privacy except if it’s by mutual agreement.
Let go of delusions and fantasy
It’s called fantasy for a reason, it exists in your mind, the reality is way different, don’t let your delusions ruin what’s real. Accept your spouse as they are, no one can ever fully embody someone else’s fantasy.
Words hurt, be careful how you use it
We all try to act mature but we often get hurt by words especially those types that come in the form of a joke. They have a way of making you insecure so be careful with what you say to the person you claim to love.
Try not to be a control freak
They are your spouse, not your personal servant, doll or robot, tone down that controlling attitude, it’s offensive.
Don’t ever threaten for divorce
No matter how hurt you are or peeved after an argument or a fight you shouldn’t use divorce as a threat, especially when you don’t mean it. Don’t put that idea into your significant other’s head, it never ends well.
I hope these ingredients help you make a good marriage. Goodluck.