The 21st Century Woman: How To Better Understand What She Really Wants

Bayo Ajibola

Many traditional relationships are characterised by a hard unfeeling and protective male. This was the image cut by many fathers. The man worked hard, mostly at menial jobs under harsh conditions in the mines, construction sites, ranches, farms and lumber yards. He came home tired and expected to be treated with respect for the manly role he played of being provider, disciplinarian and protector. He was the law, and everyone held him to account for how his family turned out. How To Better Understand What Women Really Wants WHY A MAN WITH SENSITIVITY IS NEEDED

The Twenty First Century family is different. Both men and women work to help provide for the family and increasingly, women are bringing home the larger share of the bacon. The education system demands that both parents are involved in their children’s lives and traditional discipline is regulated. The role of the man in the family must evolve or be threatened with Darwinian natural selection.

One of the ways in which today’s man if forced to evolve is by being sensitive. Increasingly the man has to be aware of the needs and emotions of those around him, and be aware of the options that abound if he does not shape up. The nuclear family is being redefined so rapidly that men have to paddle fast or be declared redundant. Sperm banks, and the acceptance of single parent families into the mainstream culture demand that men must do something different if they are to stay relevant in the institution.

Enter the Sensitive man. But what exactly is a sensitive man? Ralph Tresvant in his 1990 hit album ‘Sensitivity’ sang the following words.

Girl, I know it’s been hard since he went away,
And left so sad you cry every day,
Let me kiss your tears erase all your doubts,
Because for you I’m here, you won’t be without love!
Don’t need a man who can give you money
C’mon let me show you just what you need honey (I got what you need)
You need a man with sensitivity (a man like me)

Someone who can love you
Someone who will need you
Someone who will treat you right (like me girl)
Someone who will hold you tight
Someone stable in your life (ah baby)
You need a man with sensitivity
A man like me (baby)(honey)

Enough said. I agree. Women need a man with sensitivity.

The modern woman needs a man who sees her. A man who understands that she is a person with needs both physical and emotional. A man who will lovingly and passionately step in to fill this need, not out of a sense of duty.

The Twenty First Century woman wants a man who recognises that she is an equal partner in the marriage, a co- contributor to the success of the institution of marriage, not a baggage or an inconvenience to be tolerated.

She needs a man, who will understand when she has deadlines to meet, who will be a sounding board for her lofty ideas for the board presentation, and who will not cause a tantrum when he has to go pick children from school, attend the PTA meeting, or cook dinner.

She needs a man who will be there to make passionate love to her and kiss her and hold her tight and whisper that everything will be alright. A man who will do all that, and still be proud to be called a husband and a father of her children. A strong anchor who will stand by her woman as she transitions in life and not be threatened by her success.

Because you see, a woman is multifaceted. She is not just a homemaker, she is a person with dreams, visions and aspirations that need to be met. That is why a man with sensitivity is needed. Not just a man who will provide money.

I think that is what Ralph Tresvant meant to say in his song. Wouldn’t you agree?

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