3 Big Challenges in Modern Dating and How to Go About Them

Bayo Ajibola
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Times have changed. Apart from the calendar moving forward, many things have changed with it and have brought on a different set of challenges. Take for example dating. Humans are social creatures and it takes a lot of willpower not to socialize. Socializing between men and women slowly develops from simple friendship and then a serious romance that could end up in marriage (many would like for it to get there).

Dating has however quite a number of changes and this has left many confused. There are very many blurred lines and things that were once unacceptable are now considered normal. It has been labelled as the modern way. Some of the things that have brought up issues and confusion among both men and women include:

Where to find someone

People used to find potential mates from friends and relatives or from different kinds of functions (parties count in this case). With the advent of the internet and social media people rarely go out to make actual human contact so that leaves social media.

You will find people meeting on social media or even on dating forums. It could end up as a simple friendship, a horrible friendship or a great romance. They could even be the connection you need to your future mate. This seems a little scary for many especially if you have crazy exes. Look for sites that are legitimate and try to dig as much as possible about whoever you choose to meet.

Keep your profile honest and specific about what you are looking for. As you browse through different profiles, remember that it is not a menu. Go through them. When you do meet, take time to get to know them and not just online.


It is very baffling that people freely send nude photos or photos of their body parts to people as introduction. You will find explicit photos on social media and some have no qualms about it. Self-respect has been redefined (or maybe has lost meaning completely) and sometimes you wonder whether to tell them ‘please put some clothes on’ or ‘it is nice to meet you’.

It would be wise to maintain yours, unless you are just looking for sex. If you feel that what the other person is doing is inappropriate for you just let them know. Or better yet, just let them go and stop talking to them altogether. Seeing body parts first just tips the scales towards sex first and not dating. There can be nothing innocent or respectful about it.

Independent women

This subject is a little touchy, mostly because the women have worked very hard to get where they are. The men also feel a little threatened by independent women. For the women, they need to realize that having a man in their lives is not equivalent to relinquishing their freedom. The idea of having someone else as head and having to consult a man, of all people, feels like losing after making such great strides that have allowed them to compete on equal ground with men. Men may talk about submission as being subdued but it truly is not.

To the men, you need to step up. An independent woman is strong and needs love, not a ruler. Treat her with love and respect and be confident in yourself. She needs a strong man who will not be intimidated by her strength, not one who will be threatened by it and want her to tone down.

Meeting people and dating in this age is difficult but not unattainable. Take it one step at a time, learn the ropes and don’t let anyone push you into something you are uncomfortable with.


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