3 months ago
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There’s a popular saying that a woman only shows her true colors in a relationship after she’s got a ring on her finger.
Basically it’s saying a lot of women pretend in a relationship, but the moment they are engaged to be married, they begin to show their nasty behaviors. Technically this is true but also most of these women aren’t showing their true colors, they didn’t just k of better and have let a simple proposal get to their head, they start to think they are secure because they are finally going to achieve end goal as woman which is to become a wife and a mother.
All if which stems from a stereotypical and misogynist training of women in the society, but that’s a topic for another day.
Today’s post is obviously dedicated to women, brides to be, fiancées and wives, to educate and tell you to grow up and stop acting like a brat! You’ve got a good thing going on for you, don’t ruin it by yourself as a result of ignorance and egoistical behaviors!!!
So you’re wondering what exactly we mean by that? There are lots of reports where weddings are called off or a marriage ends just a month after its wedding, and they are as a result to what people refer to as a “Bridezilla.” An overbearing bride and fiancee and trust me, you do not want to be one and ruin your union with the one you love, and that’s why we’ve prepared this post for you.
It’s all about me.
When most women get engaged and are at the process of planning their wedding, they become self-involved, it becomes all about them, and they even go as far to talk down on everyone, no matter who they are – or worse insult others. If that is you, you’re probably thinking, because it’s your wedding, you have a right to make it all about you but honestly is it? If it’s truly all about you, why have guests come? Why employ workers? Just because they are working doesn’t mean they have become slaves and should be degraded. And also don’t forget, others might excuse you for that nasty attitude but what about the person who put that ring on your finger, doesn’t he matter too? It’s also his wedding and marriage, doesn’t his likes and opinions count? The display of selfishness amongst brides-to-be are so common that it makes you wonder, what exactly attracted these men to these women! This kind of display of narcissism, self-indulgence, and greed is one of the fastest ways to null a marriage or wedding for that matter.
The only way to make a marriage work is by coming to terms with the fact that it is no longer about just you and yours but us or ours. It’s our home, our wedding and our family.
It’s all about money.
A lot of brides pressure the groom into spending a whole of unnecessary expense on their wedding just so you can achieve your fairytale wedding but newsflash, a fairytale wedding doesn’t equate a good marriage. Most couples spend so much on their wedding and honeymoon that they start their married life broke, how pathetic.
After showing off, you start a new chapter in a miserable state, isn’t that a recipe for a disastrous marriage? In marriage, that wind becomes a tornado that can tear your house down. You and your partner have to get on the same page financially if you don’t want to wreak havoc in your marriage before it even begins.
Family ain’t what it used to be
One of the toughest things to navigate in a relationship before marriage is the input family members have. I’m primarily talking about parents and/or siblings. Before marriage, it’s easy to run to your sister or your mum and tell them the dirt on your man. After marriage, no can do – not if you want to stay married anyway.
I’m not talking about if your life is in danger. If it’s your typical marriage problems, understand that “family” now refers to the two people on your marriage certificate.
Your parents don’t get to butt in when you and your spouse have an argument. Don’t run to tell that to your sister or your auntie when issues arise in your relationship.
Family is now you and your husband. On occasion, you may need some marriage advice from your pastor, your therapist, or a trusted friend. The minute anyone else gets in the middle of your union and starts taking sides, then you should probably start packing your bags.
It is advisable to deal with your marital problems between the both of you, your external families will always have a different opinion, sometimes helpful but most times, dividing. Your marriage is yours not theirs and if you always include them in every conflict you face in your marriage, then be sure their sentiments will divide your marriage. Each family taking the sides of their bloodline.
Women also make the mistakes of gossiping to their friends about everything, especially about the man’s family, well if you are a bride or a wife, don’t! Weddings have a lot of crisis waiting at the corner to explode, don’t be the reason it ignites, and certainly when you get married, curtail the need to tell your friends everything.
The journey from engagement to marriage can be fun, especially when you’re getting married to the man you love, a man of your choice. However, it’s wise to get good marriage advice as you travel down that road, because it’s your first experience and there’s no guide book to doing it right. By getting solid advice, you learn from experience and reading up about it may help you realize where you falter and need help.
Before you get married though, by keeping these three behaviors in check, you give your marriage a chance at being on the right side of the statistics.