When you hear the word “Intimacy” you instantly think of sex, but intimacy is not only about sexual interactions. Intimacy in its true definition refers to a close familiarity, mutual vulnerability, openness, sharing, and friendship.
The concept of intimacy involves a mutually consensual relationship where two individuals reciprocate feelings of trust, emotional and physical closeness toward each other. There are four types of intimacy namely; intellectual, emotional, spiritual and sexual.
Intellectual intimacy refers to a relationship where two people are able to indulge and contribute to each other’s lives through their intellectual prowess. Emotional intimacy refers to a relationship where two people depend on each other emotionally, there’s openness; they share and express their emotions to one another often. Emotional intimacy involves mutual vulnerability.
Spiritual intimacy usually refers to religious people or two people who share a spiritual activity together such as yoga, meditation or prayer. Spiritual intimacy refers to a relationship where two people help one another build their spirituality and therefore strengthen their bond through spiritual practice. It is a deep and intense type of intimacy that enables two people to become the best version of themselves.
Then the final one, sexual intimacy, which we all know, refers to a type of relationship that achieves connection and a bond through sex. Sexual intimacy is not just the merging of two bodies, it takes a certain level of emotional and sexual expression.
Now for couples, this is the most important form of intimacy, because it involves the other three for you to truly get to this type of intimacy. A situation whereby you have just sex, without connecting, either emotionally, intellectually or spiritually, well sorry to break it to you, your relationship isn’t going anywhere. Sure you both connected sexually, you understand each other’s body but then a human being isn’t made of only his or her body, you need to achieve other forms of intimacy in order for your relationship or marriage to succeed.
Luckily, today’s post is not just to educate you on intimacy but also to provide you with hacks to help you improve intimacy with your partner.
- Express yourself more to each other
- Do activities together
- Find out what turns your partner on
Express yourself more to each other
You have probably heard and read that communication is key to success about a gazillion times. It’s an old broken record. But it also happens to be true.
Tell each other everything, your past, your thoughts, your feelings, that’s the only way they can get to know you more and the only way to increase your emotional intimacy. When trying to increase intimacy, you must communicate what’s happening in your heart. Specifically, you have to share your feelings. Tell your spouse how he or she makes you feel and why your life is better now that you’re married to one another.
You should also tell your spouse about all the things he or she does – from handling the bills to leaving love letters in your lunch – for which you are grateful. Most importantly, tell your spouse, “I love you,” on a daily basis. He or she will probably follow your lead and share feelings, as well. The advantage of sharing feelings is that the mind gets fed the message that you are loved. Feeling loved will help carve the path to increased intimacy.
Do activities together
Other than sharing your feelings another easy yet important way to improve intimacy your partner, by doing activities together! Think about it, how do you become intimate friends with someone? Other than sharing your thoughts with the person, it’s also by hanging out! So hang out with your partner, play with your partner, go to the gym together, read together, watch movies, go on lots of dates, go to parties, go shopping together, do yoga together, pray together, have intellectual arguments a lot, share your opinions on everything even if they differ, that’s the only way they get to understand you properly; what you stand for and truly believe.
We are not saying you should invade each other’s personal space, we are basically saying, be best friends with your partner. So hang out a lot until it becomes a habit, that unconsciously, your partner is your go-to person for everything.
Find out what turns your partner on
We are not going to lie, sex is really important when it comes to intimacy for couples because it’s more than just a physical act for the both of them, it takes every aspect of your being to achieve true sexual intimacy with your partner. Also, we all know that sex is the true spice to marriage, so it’s time to ask yourselves, how well do I know my partner’s body and sexual needs? What exactly turns my partner on, what exactly is that thing that I do that makes them go berserk on me (sexually)? After you’re done asking yourself that question, proceed to find it, obviously no one else can do that for you, so observe them, experiment with them, it could be anything; a sensitive part of their body or an action you take, like compliments or doing kind things for them or even kind words. It could be what you wear or how you wear them, whatever it is, find it and use it.
Obviously, timing is also key in this scenario, for instance, office sex, your partner has stressed all day and is in a bad mood, its office break time, show up, take care of them, besides how else will you be able to experiment with their turn on without actually experimenting, so be spontaneous, try new things and most importantly, have lots of sex. You can’t improve your sexual intimacy with just observing, you actually need to do it in order for you to be sure. So whether good or bad, they are all memories and they are good for building a strong special bond.