3 Keys to Rebuilding Trust in Your Marriage

Bayo Ajibola

How to Rebuild Trust in Your Marriage:

It doesn’t make any difference if it’s your husband or wife, your son or daughter, your co-worker or God – TRUST is definitely extremely important for just about any good relationship.

Trust is really a funny thing. We have a tendency to think the very best for ourselves because we become acquainted with our intentions as well as the worst in other people simply because we judge based only on the outcomes of their actions.

We can easily be particularly distrusting if we’ve really been hurt in the past…and we’ve all actually been hurt!

Trust Is Dynamic
Basically If I asked you if you trust your partner, you could possibly answer as “yes” or “no” (hopefully it’s yes).

However, if I asked whether you trust him or her Pretty much than you did yesterday…or last year…or on your wedding day…the answer gets to be a much more interesting.

That’s simply because the degree of trust in our marriage is constantly changing.

You are usually either building up trust and closeness or you’re allowing it to deteriorate because of your actions (or inaction).

On a dayly basis, it is possible to improve the trust in between you by enjoying good time with each other, chatting, making love, making decisions collectively and engaging in all of those little things many of us do together as a couple.

Don’t forget that it is possible to gradually lose that trust whenever you act selfishly, don’t follow through on your promises, hold back sexual activity or miss a date night.

Trust is a fickle beast, but it’s Extremely important to carry on building up.

However It Could Very Well Be Shattered Before You Know It
We spend the majority of our married time making those step by step changes and enhancing our trust as time goes by.

But as we all know far too well, there are those Trust Bombs that could ruin trust in instantaneously:

Being unfaithful
Not telling the truth about money
Keeping secrets and getting exposed
Chatting about your husband or wife behind their back
In the blink of an eye, many years of built-up trust could very well be damaged. And it’s hard to learn how to forgive and get started back down the road of building up trust and intimacy.

Take Action to Build Up the Trust

Whether you’re simply looking to grow in intimacy and learn how to deepen the trust in your marriage on a day-to-day basis or you’ve been scarred by a major breach of trust, the key is to take action.

Here are three strategies you can use to build or rebuild the trust in your relationship:

1. Bring in Back-Up Help

It’s easy to lose perspective on your own situation when you’re living in it.

Reach out and seek guidance and support from a coach, support group, counselor or trusted friend.  Be sure that any resource you seek out is Pro-Marriage and will work in the best interest of your marriage.

Caution: Do NOT seek out help from those that may make the situation worse.  This would include recently divorced friends, never-married friends or co-workers…

2. Commit to Finding the Good

When you’re feeling pain, it’s difficult to see the good in those that we love – but it’s essential to the reconciliation process.

Commit to giving your spouse at least one encouragement/compliment every day for the next week.  This will help turn the energy in your relationship from negative to positive, plus you’ll be reminded of the positive characteristics of your spouse.

You’ll find it super helpful to keep a journal during this time and track how your actions change the way you see, respect and start to rebuild trust in your husband or wife.

3. Declare that YOU Are Taking Action

In every relationship, there must be a leader when change is required.  Whether your trust was broken or you broke the trust of your spouse in some way, you have the opportunity to repair/forgive the broken trust and move forward.

But it requires commitment and real action.  In time, your spouse will come around but getting started on this path requires you to step up and be a leader in your marriage.

Trust is an essential and sometimes elusive element in every relationship.  

Put all these tips in place to deepen the trust in your marital life and reap the gains of the satisfaction and peace that lie on the opposite side of the rebuilding process.

Bayo Ajibola

Welcome to naijaparents.com. Whatever your  problem, marital, relationship, spiritual or parenting. We are here for you. No matter how difficult they are, together we can release power sufficient to solve these problems either spiritual or otherwise. Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answers and solutions.  Digging at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves is our way of solving your problems. On naijaprents we break the problem down into components and solve one problem at a time. Let's hear from you.Join the conversation on our Forum and , like us on our Facebook page .Google+

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.