“Love is a burden!” “Men are scum.” “Love is wicked!” Love is this, love is that; these are just a few of the ideas getting programmed, consciously and subconsciously, into the mindset of young people daily.
One of the things that makes love such a burden to so many out there is that they step into a relationship dragging along the baggage of all the nasty things they’ve heard about the opposite sex.
As a result, even before the everyday issues of the usual challenges in relationships creep up, they already have certain responses to smash their partners with, responses they’ve rehearsed mentally for years.
Now, for the fact that men say the problem lies with the women, while the women blame the men for everything dark and ugly, it simply means that the issues we normally face in relationships has just one major culprit – a lack of understanding.
This misunderstanding is what a careful study of these tips here would dispel, and revive the love and loyalty you once saw from your better half if applied.
1. TALK, DON’T PUSH:
I cannot emphasize this point loudly enough. A lot of the time, we as individuals just love hearing our voices, and feeling good about the fact that we could say something, whether or not they produce any good result.
Refrain from being that person who exudes such a strong negative energy that erodes every of your charisma. Don’t rant, nag or scold. Just speak from your heart, calmly.
To do this in the face of a great hurt would require almost every bit of your inner energy, but this is how your points would be clearly made. It will actually build you, and in certain scenarios, can even make your partner afraid of repeating that same mistake if you’re with someone who respects you.
2. DON’T TOTALLY DROP YOUR INDEPENDENCE
This is another area that has knocked many homes much harder than the heavyweight champ Anthony Joshua. Making that mistake of running to a joint account for everything, or asking a partner to provide every single item in the house may not exactly be what any partner ought to be doing, except in the case of a health challenge.
If you had a legit hustle which was taking care of your needs prior to your meeting, you might want to somewhat maintain that business, except your man strongly insists. But even if he decides to put you on a monthly allowance, well, try as much as you can to maintain some level of financial strength and independence.
This is not necessarily for the sake of any future divorce, but for the self-esteem, confidence and self-respect it would generally bestow upon you. Even your in-laws would love you better if they don’t hold the idea that you’re parasitic.
3. SPACE IS IMPORTANT
As much as we all know that love is intoxicating, at the same time, we ought to understand that if our intoxication could ruin things, then it’s best we seek for ways to put it under our firm control.
This is easier said than done, but possible when tried.
Public display of affection is cool; surprises are awesome; daily sex is heavenly; but in the midst of all these, what is not needed is just one thing – Obsession.
We all deserve a little time in between where messages, calls, kisses do not interrupt. Men find themselves growing fonder of women who understand how to balance things out.
He’d listen more if you’ve not been on his neck all day. From time to time, endeavour to give your partner some room to miss you, no matter how short that break has to be.
Wishing you all the best as you take your best shot.