When you got married love was definitely in the air. You stayed up there in the clouds for quite some time and enjoyed every moment of it. Life has gotten the better of you though and it has become a little difficult to feel half of what you used to feel for your spouse. Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you and you aren’t the only one.
Couples go through different seasons and it is actually expected. You will go through a season where your relationship and love for each other is blossoming like a beautiful spring flower, a season of warmth and understanding, a season where your faults glare at each one of you and you wonder how on earth you made the decision to marry your partner and a season where everyone just goes cold and feels no love for their spouse.
Your marriage isn’t over; it’s just going through a rough patch. How you handle this patch will make all the difference and can either propel you to a happy place or catapult you deeper into marital winter. Having been with your spouse this entire time means you’ve seen the good in them and know that they are most likely feeling as lost as you and would like to get back to that happy marriage you once shared.
Falling in love afresh takes a little work but if done right, the results are worth every ounce of energy spent. The following tips will set you on the right track to marital bliss and stability.
- Look deep and find the problem
You started on a high note and remained there for some time so that means something went wrong along the way. Is it your communication? Does each partner know what the other is feeling and going through? Do you guys actively listen to each other? In all the things you’ve been doing in your home what hasn’t been working?
The idea is to find out what changed and what the relationship could use more of. You are rebuilding the foundation of the relationship so whatever agreement you make must accommodate both of you. It must also be realistic and actionable because there is no point in digging up problems if the solutions can’t be implemented.
- Look at what is already working well
There must have been something you saw that attracted you to them in the beginning. How much of that is still alive? What aspect of your marriage is doing well? What is keeping your marriage intact? What are your strengths now? Apart from giving you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside, this analysis will open your eyes to the good in your relationship that you might have been ignoring.
- Use the results from above to start over
Now you know where the problem is and what is still working. Start to rekindle your love by first apologizing for the wrongs and then celebrating and acknowledging the good things. Work on rebuilding all the broken things you found out about your union and strengthening those that are still intact.
Give of yourselves to each other and love unconditionally through this storm. You will find that your marriage becomes stronger after this period. But remember that keeping a marriage strong and intact takes work so don’t stop once you get your marriage back. Keep depositing love, attention and affection into your marriage and you will reap the benefits. Don’t wait for your spouse to start things off or continue from where you left off. If both of you give your all to each other unconditionally, both of you remain loved and well taken care of at all times.
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