Bayo Ajibola

Giving birth: everything you need to know

Delivery is different for every woman even though there may be some common features and experiences. It is the climax of every woman’s pregnancy journey and everyone always hopes for the best. It can be harrowing for some and smooth sailing for others but it doesn’t negate the fact that you all brought a new life into this world.

There has been a lot of judgment surrounding women who chose to have caesarean section even before they found out whether their bodies would be able to handle a normal delivery or not. Others don’t really have a choice and a C-section is more a solution than a problem.

Many feel that a natural birth makes them more female, feminine or better mothers. There really is no science to prove this but such thoughts leave a trail of disappointment and a feeling of failure among those mothers that had a C-section but had wanted a normal delivery. Some may end up feeling very inadequate and they may harbor negative thoughts after they give birth.

It doesn’t matter how it happens

Vaginal birth and C-section are just methods that ensure that the baby is delivered safely. People may have different opinions about the procedures but for as long as your baby is happy and healthy it does not matter what they think. In fact, it does not matter what they think at any point of your pregnancy or delivery.

You know why it had to happen that way so don’t let people make you feel inferior for having a C-section or backward for opting for a vaginal birth. It is your body and your body and if you have your doctor’s and partner’s support let everyone else be.

To breastfeed or not?

This is another tricky area. The baby will need to eat and breastfeeding is the default solution for this but not all women can breastfeed. Others have conditions that can’t allow them to breastfeed so they opt to bottle-feed their babies. Would you blame such a person for not giving their baby the booby or congratulate them on choosing an appropriate method to ensure that her baby receives the nourishment that is required?

Educate yourself on the advantages and disadvantages of breastfeeding versus not breastfeeding if you are able to breastfeed and make a wise choice for both you and your baby. For those who can’t breastfeed, take it in your stride and ignore the haters.

Stay happy

Handling a new born is so much work and the fact that you just gave birth does not make it easier. The hormones are still undecided on the right levels to stay at and your baby wants your undivided attention without saying what exactly it is they want. That can be a recipe for disaster if not handled well.

Take some time to consciously smile and laugh. It is important to stay happy at this time because postnatal depression is real. You may find yourself slowly slipping into depression and getting out is not easy. It affects the baby as well since you don’t offer the love and nurturing that they expect to feel and this may cause the baby to be even crankier.

Find a support group if you have to, talk to a counselor, tell your partner about it and get yourself healing. It will help you raise your child better. It does not matter what circumstance you are in because the most important thing is that you remain positive and strong. Don’t hesitate to ask for help because it is an indication that you are strong enough to get out of the position you are in, as opposed to being a failure.

Bayo Ajibola

Welcome to naijaparents.com. Whatever your  problem, marital, relationship, spiritual or parenting. We are here for you. No matter how difficult they are, together we can release power sufficient to solve these problems either spiritual or otherwise. Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answers and solutions.  Digging at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves is our way of solving your problems. On naijaprents we break the problem down into components and solve one problem at a time. Let's hear from you.Join the conversation on our Forum and , like us on our Facebook page .Google+

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