Whoever said life with teenagers will be a walk in the park. Except for a very few handful of cases, one or more of your teensare sometimes gonna leave you so stressed out from sleeping with your both eyes open, worried over who your kid is really going to turn out to be, and what crazy mess he or she might have gotten into. It all gets even tougher if the teen in question craves a reckless or violent lifestyle, and has an uncontrollable anger. While being the loving guardian of a depressed, angry teen can be a tough task, a few steps here will grant you insight on how best to assist him or her to finally blossom into an understanding, successful and caring adult.
If you have a teenage kid that is usually aggressive, annoyed or cruel, you may not enjoy your conversations or time spent alone with him. Female teenagers also express their anger vehemently. Fortunately in their case, the anger is put across verbally and may not likely involve violent door bangings, smashing of glasswares and stuff like that. However, no matter how anger is expressed, when it becomes a frequent feature of the life of a youngster, it makes life uneasy for a parent. You might one to consider the following ideas while handling a pepper-tempered teen:
1. DISCOVER THE REAL CAUSE OF THE ANGER
Emotions sometimes have a way of expressing themselves in a somewhat amusing manner. Accumulated feelings of loneliness, inferiority complex, fear of the future, can mask themselves as deep seated anger and manifest in unrelated circumstances. Open room for discussion with your teen and always try to listen between the words to unveil the cause of thetemper tantrum that he or she may not be able to clearly say.
2. RECOGNIZE THE PARTICULAR SIGNS AND SITUATIONS THAT ELICIT HIS OR HER ANGER
Once you’re able to do this, you’ll succeed in being able to contain the temperature of the temper before it explodes beyond 90 degree Celsius! For some teens, it could be a certain circumstance, or particular words used on him/her, or maybe a house chore that brings up painful memories. It is a parent’s responsibility to try to calm the teen during such time until he finally gains mastery with handling his temper.
3. CRUSH YOUR OWN RAGE
Two wrongs don’t make a right. As a parent, you don’t necessarily have to shout to be the seen as the one wearing the big trousers of authority. Managing your temper very adequately even when your child annoys you will not only teach the child your own ways, it will also help you healthwise.
4. SHOW THE RULES AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF DISOBEDIENCE
Choose a convenient moment to explain to your teen that it’s natural for one to get annoyed sometimes. However, explain to him or her the acceptable ways to best express or channel that anger. Drop specific rules which if not obeyed, may result in loss of certain privileges. Every decision and rules instituted must be made in love and with the best interest of your child at heart.
5. SUGGEST NICE WAYS TO CALM A HEATED TEMPER
Dancing, exercise, football, writing are some of the ways by which a fit of angry can be rerouted so the child does not do something he or she will later regret.
6. MAKE SPACE FOR REFLECTION
If your teen wants to contain his or her anger by being quiet or withdrawing to a quiet spot, give the child that opportunity. It may be counterproductive to keep yelling, or insisting on getting the details of what happened right at the very moment. Understand your child’s “cool-off mechanism.”