Infidelity can take one a long time to heal. The initial feelings of hurt, pain, and despair seem to never end. However, over time, as you work on the pain, it will become less. That is why it is important to deal with betrayal, only then can you truly leave it behind. Check out these 6 fundamental steps to help you recover from a betrayal.
1. Acknowledge that you have been betrayed
Don’t pretend it didn’t happen. Don’t just move it to a hidden place of the mind. It will only make the pain grow and spread. This can affect other healthy aspects of your life.
It is very difficult to accept that someone you love and trust, to whom you have shared your most intimate secrets and shared your life may have betrayed you. Recognize this for what it is. Someone has broken your trust and it will take time to get over it.
2. Allow yourself to feel
There are many emotions that a person goes through when they discover that they have been betrayed. These feelings range from anger to depression, hurt, and even a desire for revenge. Probably one of the most common emotions you will experience will be anger.
Being angry at this moment is human, necessary, and will help you to move forward.
3. Allow yourself to live that moment
Did you know that the pain and trauma of betrayal can be compared to those of people who have experienced catastrophic situations, such as earthquakes, assaults, and accidents? Psychologists usually advise parents of children who have been through traumatic experiences to make them act the way they can to deal with the trauma they are facing.
Going out with friends and talking – if you feel comfortable doing so – can be great for moving on, turning the key, and being able to wake up the next day refreshed and ready to put your life in order.
Sleeping a lot and not wanting to get out of bed can be the way your body and mind use to recover. Sleeping without stopping to the point of not doing personal hygiene or even losing days of work can be a symptom of depression and needs therapeutic intervention.
Whatever your experience is, you have to live it. In any case, always act in a safe and responsible manner.
4. Plan how to deal with betrayal
Once you’ve dealt with your emotions, it’s time to pursue positive things to move forward in your life. And that can be the most difficult part of dealing with betrayal, as it means making choices that will impact your future. This is when, for example, you deal with the person who betrayed you. To do well, have an action plan. You may need to answer the following questions:
- How will you face your partner?
- What damage control needs to be done?
- How did it affect your relationship with that person and the people around you?
- How expensive was this betrayal? How did it really affect you?
- Do you have a strong support system (friends, family, etc.)?
- What help will you need to recover? Friends? Psychologist?
- If you decide to continue the relationship, what should you change from now on? How do you plan to deal with this? Support group? Couple therapy?
5. Confront your spouse
Even if you fail in the confrontation, at least you tried. The person who betrayed you can be truly sorry, even aggressive, and blaming you for what happened.
6. Get help
Do not underestimate the power of a good support system. It can be a friend or even your whole family. You may need emotional support. Some people may prefer talking to a total stranger or a psychologist. Whichever one works for you, ensure you do it and heal.