Marriage is a significant choice in people’s lives. That is why many couples reflect together before taking such an important step. Other times, however, it happens that a partner asks the fateful question almost by surprise, perhaps with an engagement ring. If you get a proposal that you are not prepared for,it could feel like a lot of pressure.
You may feel almost obligated to say yes, perhaps in the wake of the surprise or excitement of the moment, especially if the proposal is made in public. However, there are some things you should seriously think about before you decide to accept a marriage proposal.
1. Are you really in love?
It may seem like a question, or rather an obvious answer, but it’s actually less rhetorical than you might think. Love, in fact, is a very strong and complex feeling, subject to fluctuations and changes like people do.
Before getting married, you should ask yourself how you really feel about your boyfriend. Would you be able to live well even without this person or is their presence in your life crucial to your happiness? Think carefully: it’s not enough to be comfortable in a relationship and decide to commit forever .
Also consider your partner’s failures and the problems you’ve experienced in the relationship over time. Nobody’s perfect, of course, but if there are issues you haven’t resolved so far, don’t expect them to fit your marriage. In fact, they can become even more pronounced.
2. Are your views similar?
Many marriages fail because the two spouses don’t share the same idea of family. It is essential to the success of a marriage to know whether or not you want to have children.
You must talk about it clearly, without any misunderstandings. It would be terrible to discover a different view after marriage, because no one should give up having children if they want to or be forced to have children if they don’t. It would be a miserable sentence for at least one of you.
Of course, you can’t predict what will happen in the future and people can always change their minds, but it would still be better to talk about it before you get married.
3. Do you have enough in common?
Couples don’t need to have everything in common, but in marriage, both couples should share some interests and passions. It is normal for everyone to have and maintain their own space to practice an individual hobby or activity, but it is good to have things in common too.
Maybe it’s enough to have some affinity with what concerns cinema or music. In short, if a couple share likes and interests, they will find it even more pleasant to be together, taking advantage of time off work tasks.
Another secret to a successful marriage is to have a similar or complementary personality, or at least share the same mood, laughing at the same things is certainly not a fundamental aspect, but it is a sign that there is good chemistry between you.
4. Will you be willing to change locations or jobs?
You or your partner may have a job offer that involves changing your location. The decision to take that job at this point will be up to the two of you. Before getting married, you should speak very clearly about your willingness to move or not.
You must approach the subject very precisely, assuming the various possibilities of the case. For example, you can discard the change, either for your business or his business. Or you may have no problems moving anywhere.
Again, you may not want to move too far away from your family, and they may also have similar or opposite needs to yours. Therefore, this topic should also be clarified before the wedding.
5. Can you grow old with this person?
Over time, your appearance will change. Sooner or later you will have wrinkles and gray hair and he won’t always be the man you see now either. Can you imagine how your partner will change? More importantly, do you think he will support you even when your appearance is no longer as attractive as it is now?
Another important question is: can you imagine that he will take care of you if you get sick? Of course, these are questions that might seem strange to you right now, but instead they are important questions because they help you assess how you will be with your partner in the long run.
6. What is your family like?
When you marry someone, you also marry their family. Of course, it is desirable that you have a good relationship with your close relatives so that you don’t have problems in your life together. Unless there are bad relationships between him and his parents, you should actually consider that they will also be a part of your life.
You can’t expect your husband to cut your family of origin, so you better understand your family dynamics first . If, for example, you don’t get along with your partner’s mother, things will be more difficult after you get married. If your relationship with your mother-in-law is problematic, you should also ask yourself if he would be ready to choose you over his mother when the need arises.
These are some of the basic things to consider before you get married. They may seem little or irrelevant to you now but on the long run, they are things that actually determine if you are going to have a great marriage.