Your relationship just ended and you don’t know what to do or how to move on. It’s a familiar phase and feeling. You usually have a lot of things going on in your head. You wonder what it’s like to be single and how you will cope with being alone all of a sudden. It usually feels surreal but you should know that this doesn’t mark the cessation of life.
Moving on could be difficult but it’s a gradual process. It is okay to be confused about what next to do and that is why we’ve prepared this article to guide you on how to move on after your relationship ends. Below are 7 things to do when your relationship comes to an end.
1. Recognize the problem
Before a relationship ends, there are signs that things are not going on well. But often, those signs are ignored and things keep going south until the need for separation arises. This phase before any separation is always very delicate and when the relationship ends, it serves as a reference point for proper evaluation of the cause of the breakup.
The first thing to do is to figure out what went wrong in the relationship. What did you wrong? What did your partner do wrong? How could you have avoided the situation? What can you do to salvage the situation if you could turn back the hands of time? Would you have done things differently? These and other questions will enable you to avoid such situation in future.
2. Accept that it has come to an end
There’s no point wallowing in denial. Yes, you may be hoping that things will get back to how they used to be or that you’ll wake up from this dream but you can’t do that forever. You need to accept that the relationship has come to an end and that you have to move on. This phase may be accompanied by a feeling of guilt, anger and sadness but accept you have to accept the past and look to the future.
3. Overcome your fears
Thinking about the future can be very scary sometimes. You think about what it feels like to be alone. You wonder how you’ll cope and also consider a lot of things. Looking to the future can be distressing because it usually comes with uncertainties and negative thoughts.
You wonder if you are going to meet someone else who will love and appreciate you and your flaws. What if you don’t meet such person? What if you don’t meet someone as good as your partner? Such questions keep resounding and make you afraid to start over. These notwithstanding, it’s important for you to overcome your fears and move forward.
4. Design the future
When you have life projects and goals you want to achieve, they help you recover faster. This is because they take your mind away from the moments of sadness, anger and suicidal thoughts. You are so focused on achieving your goals and becoming a better person that you have little or no time to dwell on the past. I’d you don’t have a job search for one or start a business, learn a skill or perfect what you already know. Just have something to keep you busy because staying idle fuels sadness, fear and suicidal thoughts.
5. Be happy
The end of a relationship comes with numerous questions that give rise to self doubt. It makes you feel as if you are not good enough. You question your relevance, beauty and values. You should realize that it is never too late to be happy and your happiness is not tied to anyone.
Don’t let the negative experiences stop you from enjoying life in full. Draw strength from people and things around you and be happy. Do what you love, travel, listen to music, dance, eat and have fun.
6. Think positively
The separation may hurt you deeply but it doesn’t have to stop you from looking at the bright side of life and all the good things life has to offer. Think positively. Set goals for yourself and work towards achieving them with all the resources at your disposal. There’s more to life than your relationship that ended. Believe in yourself and always strive for the best. You will definitely meet someone who will love and cherish you.