Sometimes we do not recognize that we are really tolerating behaviors that must be stopped. People who have insecurity or attachment problems, whose emotional needs were not met in childhood, do so more often and for longer than those who have confidence in themselves. The detail is that they tend to overlook harmful behavior because, for them, it is something normal, because they grew up that way.
The following are toxic behaviors in relationships:
1. They make fun of your thoughts and feelings
One way to undermine the other and relegate their feelings to the background is to use subtle mockery and marginalization, minimizing the opinions or reactions that we show in a certain situation.
When they laugh at you, the other tells you that what you say matters little or not, or that your feelings are not important or perhaps ridiculous. These are pure and simple manipulations that should not be tolerated.
2. You are constantly discredited
It’s one thing to complain about someone’s action or inaction; For example, mentioning that the other person broke a promise, made you wait an hour, didn’t do it, or took out the trash. Another thing is to criticize someone’s character, full of examples and with anger.
What follows is a litany of everything the other person considers you don’t have. If this is someone you love, you feel belittled or dejected. Don’t rationalize the other person’s behavior by making excuses to defend them. By making excuses, you encourage the behavior and make it appear normal.
3. You are mentally weakened
It is a power game, used by people who perceive the other person in the relationship as weaker. This type of person draws attention to the other person’s perceptions or vision of reality by denying Lthat something was said or done and then suggesting that it was you who made it up or misinterpreted it.
These types of people take advantage of what they know about your level of confidence in your own perceptions, as well as your insecurities, they know how to undermine you until you feel mentally weakened.
4. They treat you with contempt
Making fun of yourself or showing physical gestures such as looking into your eyes to communicate contempt for you, your words and actions is never acceptable and it will always be aimed at exerting control over the other person .
Any healthy relationship requires mutual respect and the absence of contempt should be a rule for everyone. Contempt and emotional abuse should not be tolerated because they are the preamble to a toxic relationship.
5. They are projected on you
This type of toxic behavior is the preferred trick of narcissists. Instead of acknowledging his feelings and taking responsibility for them, the narcissist projects them onto who is close to him, and if that is his partner, even more so.
Let’s take an example: the narcissist gets angry about something, but projects his anger on you and asks you why you are angry, (when he is the one who is angry), in this way you will be subject to yourself: defend and deny what he mentions.
This alters the balance of power in a subtle way, because while you are aware of his anger (his fists are clenched, his jaw muscles are working, his face is flushing) you are now on the defensive, saying don’t be mad.
6. They manipulate your insecurities
This strategy is similar to blinding a person, but goes further: It paralyzes you.
It prevents you from speaking.
Keeps her under control
It has it contained.
With this behavior, the manipulator takes advantage of the knowledge he has about the other person.
The manipulator knowing that you are nervous when someone gets angry, that you might back off if challenged enough, knows that such a comment can make you feel inferior or out of place. It may be harder to see, but if it’s a repeating pattern, you’re floating in a toxic sea and at the mercy of a manipulative person.