7 Secrets to Improve Communication in a Couple

Good communication is very essential in every relationship. When there is a lack of communication in the relationship, it can lead to various problems that end up damaging the affection and love within the bond. For this reason, expressing your feelings to your partner in a correct way and being able to improve communication are aspects that you should take into account when you are in a crisis. 

In many cases, the forms of communication within a relationship can pose problems regarding intimacy, conflicts and relational growth. Why is communication important in a relationship? Basically because understanding the inner world of your partner and knowing how to communicate yours makes your relationship evolve. 

On the other hand, when there is a lack of communication in the couple or the forms of communication in the couple are not adequate, this causes the two people to end up distancing themselves from each other. 

How to Improve Communication

1. Let go of the defensive attitude

Normally a speaking couple makes the mistake of adopting a defensive attitude during quarrel or criticism. Instead of being defensive, you should try to search and find some truth in what the other person is saying, even if it may seem meaningless or unfair to us. This creates an open space for dialogue and help prevent escalation of the situation. 

2. Show empathy

Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes helps us to see and understand their world as they live it, it is to know through their eyes. In this way, you can see that you really know what your partner is talking about and you can improve your ways of communication.

3. Ask

If we ask, we can certainly know what is meant and what our partner really feels. By asking we can inquire and have more information about what our partner thinks and feels. By asking, not only will you be able to know why your partner is upset but it will also give you a door to express your feelings to your partner in a less aggressive way.

4. Do not accuse your partner 

If we accuse our partner of something like “You are making me furious” it is very likely that they will cut off the dialogue and become defensive without reaching any solution. If instead of this accusation we substitute the “you….” For “I feel upset, angry or upset” the situation will probably be very different and you can reach a mutual understanding and overcome the discussion.

5. Give positive caresses

Looking for something positive to say to the other person transmits love and respect even if there is an angry situation. Positive caresses are words, gestures or actions that make us feel good, loved, important and valid and are fundamental in the day-to-day life of a couple’s relationship. Even if there is discussion or anger, it is no exception. Positive caresses can pave the way for your partner to talk to you. 

6. Describe how you feel 

Tell you partner how you feel. Don’t assume they should know, it is best for you to tell them in plain words. To have good communication in the couple, we are going to emphasize that we take responsibility for our feelings and that is why we want to find a solution, the conflict is with the behavior that creates our feelings, not with the person themselves. 

7. Generate alternatives, do not speak negatively and focus on a single problem

Many times, inadvertently, we tend to bring up issues that are not related to what is being raised, or we go to things of the past, without realizing that this does not solve anything but rather aggravates it and we run the risk of entering a negative spiral.

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