When your well-being, happiness, or emotional balance depends on other people or what they do, it’s quite possible that you’ll show clear signs of emotional dependency. It is a problematic condition, which prevents you from facing everyday situations as you should, whether due to lack of self-confidence or fear of being alone.
According to experts, emotional dependence is fueled by low self-esteem and insecurity. As a direct response, the person looks externally in the other, whether in the relationship with a couple, family or friends, the security that he does not have in himself. She becomes “addicted” to what these relationships are capable of providing and even considers it impossible to live without them. Can you imagine the emotional suffering this represents?
Therefore, to be able to break the bonds of emotional dependence and overcome it, it is essential to begin to understand where this attachment comes from, which has no limit. This means acknowledging fears and limitations, but also taking advantage of the reflection process to understand what your own potentials are because we all have them.
It is possible to discover emotional wounds and unstable situations, but this will allow, little by little, to go down a more self-sufficient path. The process is slow and, in most cases, it deserves to be monitored by a psychologist specializing in personal development. However, you can start the change with small adjustments to your behaviors and postures:
Start by recognizing that you are dependent: we will never be able to get over something we are trying to deny. The first step is always to know that you feel emotionally dependent and why this inordinate attachment exists. Try to understand what each of these relationships offers you, positive and negative. You can overcome emotional dependence via the following ways:
1. Don’t be afraid of uncertainty
Emotional dependence comes from a need for control, because that would be synonymous with security. However, when it settles in, the relationship becomes toxic. Being aware that the future is not in control, that the only real sphere of influence we have is over ourselves helps us to face what is to come with a more open mind and less fear and the uncertain does not necessarily have to be negative.
2. Focus more on yourself:
It’s not about being a selfish person, it’s about being aware that what really matters is your opinion, what you think about yourself, not the opinion of others. And it’s important that you work through all the points that help reinforce your personal identity.
3. Be able to say no
Knowing how to say no is part of the emotional balance. You need to understand that respecting the other does not mean giving up what is essential to recover and maintain your emotional autonomy. Be assertive and respect your individuality.
4. Don’t live from the past
The past teaches and, in that sense, is always a reference. But that doesn’t mean you should be stuck with these experiences, especially the negative ones. This is putting a burden on the present that is totally unnecessary. The great learning is precisely being able to transfer the lessons of the past and apply them to the present, to do better, be better and feel better.
5. Question your rules
It is clear that all lived experiences help to conform the “rules” and beliefs when it comes to relationships, for example. The problem is that these rules are not always objective or reflect reality. Hence the importance of constantly reviewing them based on who you are in the “now” and what your needs are..
6. Take responsibility for your emotions: Feelings belong to the person, and it is counterproductive to want to blame these manifestations on external causes; it would be taking a victim stance. You need to understand that you are in control and, for that very reason, you are responsible for how you manifest your emotions.
To overcome emotional dependence, it is essential that you learn to be well alone. Know that this is possible! be sure to ask for professional help if you need support to reach it.