Getting a woman to see or go out with you on a date is great and also one of the major steps in a relationship but another important thing to consider is what you will talk about when you finally meet her. Some people are naturally okay with words, they flow with anyone anywhere so they usually don’t bother about what to talk about.
However, for some others, it could be a little challenging to start and maintain a conversation with a stranger especially a woman. If you are one of such people, this article has been written to help you maintain a conversation when you go on a date with someone.
1. Praise her appearance
Dates are usually perceived as special occasions. Thus, the lady probably spent a lot of time getting ready to go out, or just bothered to do something different or dress in an interesting way to go out with you, so in addition to being polite, it’s very kind to praise her appearance.
Just be careful that the compliment is not forced and you do not sound sarcastic instead of sounding well. Try something like: “you are looking great today” or “this dress is beautiful, it looks great on you”. You can as well say, “Red sure looks good on you” or “your hair is beautiful.”
2. Books, movies and music
A good way to start this conversation – and to know which way to go – is to ask: “so, what have you seen or read lately?”. According to her response, follow the conversation naturally. If she talks about series or books you’ve never seen or read, don’t lie.
Be sincere, say you don’t know and want to know more about it, ask if she can explain and then the conversation will flow naturally. You can also talk about interesting and life-changing books you have read including movies that you have seen and recommend some for her.
It is important to know what the girl likes to do in order to get to know her better and also to know where you can go on the next date. You can ask her what she likes to do at her leisure time. Does she prefer to read, listen to music, see movies or visit her friends? You may also ask her what she likes to do on weekends, where she likes to go, what types of bars, restaurants and parties she frequents. In return, you can talk about yours and keep the conversation polite and friendly.
On a first date, not everyone loves to talk about their family especially when they do not have a good relationship with them. However, this should not stop you from asking her about her family, it is the proper thing to do but do not force her to talk about it. If you sense the change in her countenance when you ask about her family, withdraw and talk about something else like her friends or education. Be careful not to make her feel like she is in therapy. Try to know her position in the family, if she has siblings and if she lives with them but do it in a subtle way.
At some point you will want to discuss what the girl does for a living. Don’t let this be the first question, as it makes you appear superficial and obsessed with her status. When you feel it is time or when you both have discussed for sometime and know each other to an extent, ask where she works and, throughout the conversation, take the opportunity to know what her dreams are in this career. That way, you will show attention and still know more about it. Don’t ask about her salary, it is completely wrong.
6. Current events
Avoid politics and religion, but try to talk about things that are happening in the world, such as, for example, interesting news that you read and believe is related to the girl’s hobbies. You should not talk about religion because some people find it uncomfortable to talk about it. This is usually for fear of being judged and misunderstood. Politics on the other hand is broad and most times, can lead to controversial views and certainly, you wouldn’t want to be arguing on your first date.
It is difficult to find a person who does not like to travel. Ask her about the coolest place she has ever been to, show her interest in her trip and take the opportunity to share some of her stories. You can also ask her of the different places she has been to and what motivated her to go on such trips. You both can also talk about other places you would like to visit, when and by what means.
At some point you will want to go a little deeper and cover some slightly more significant topics. It is perfectly acceptable to ask the girl about her medium-term plans, perhaps, who knows, asking where she sees herself in five years. This is the point where you can both discuss your plans for family, career and life destinations over the next few years. But do not force the bar. If you notice her reluctance, talk about something else.
9. What to do next week
When the meeting is coming to an end, you can take the time to ask what she would like to do some other day according to the subjects you talked about throughout the day. So, in addition to showing that you paid attention and became interested in it, it will also convey the idea that you want to see it again. Depending on her response, you may as well ask for when next you can see her or simply let her know you will keep in touch.