Bayo Ajibola


Although adoption could be the only option for a couple that cannot give birth, it comes with its own share of challenges and many have actually regretted ever adopting a child. It all comes to questions like, “do you know who your real parents are?” or “would you like to know your real parents some day?”

Whilst an adopted child may hear of his or her adoption and still be okay with it, it’s never a good thing when they hear it for the first time.

This shouldn’t discourage you from adopting a child because there are so many cases where children have been adopted and have lived so happily with their adopted families. This shouldn’t also discourage parents who have just adopted a child and him or she isn’t connecting with them. You need to give the child some time because it’s hard for him or her too.

In some cases, adopted children feel uncomfortable to the extent that they want to contact their birth mothers or even go back. You don’t need to be worried because here you will find tips on how you can handle such situations.

First and most importantly, you should avoid telling the child bad things about his or her family.

How to handle adopted children

You need to be honest with the child. You don’t want him or her to find out through someone else that he or she was adopted a few years back. It will create a bad impression about you.

When telling the child about his adoption, allow him to ask questions and if possible show him photos and notes about his birth family if possible .

If you have any medical history, please ensure that the child see it.

If you adopted the child from another country, provide him with information about the country and about his family.  Although it’s necessary, you can let the adopted child know his biological relatives. It’s an advantage to both parties involved.

What you should expect

While many families feel their biological children are real children, it is important you treat all children equally. You should avoid saying things that will make the adopted child feel like he or she was plan B.

You should take the adopted child as family and although you may be planning to have another child of your own, don’t make it the subject of the topic any time you are having a conversation. As a family, you should let family members or friends tell you what’s best for you.


Things you should do after adopting a child

It is important that you pray to God. An additional shower wouldn’t do any hard. It doesn’t matter if you are bringing home an older child. The child is going to be part of your family for the rest of your lives. So why don’t you do the necessary? Invite a couple of friends over and get everything started.

Support from family and friends can also help a great deal. You should also consider organizing dinner and other activities to get things running normally.

What do birth mothers feel?

Avoid making comments that will affect birth mothers. For example, “I would never do something like that”. The fact that the birth mother decided to give you her own baby doesn’t mean that you should tell her anything that would hurt her.

Always be open with the birth mother [if you know her] and tell her the plans that you have for her biological child. It makes her feel happy that her own child is living a better life


Bayo Ajibola

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