Am I asking for too much? Why will my husband choose his mother over me?

Bayo Ajibola

Kindly conceal my name and location. I am extremely distressed and I have to speak with somebody because I don’t know what else to do. I’ve been married for 3 years and I believed things will improve because we have been married for these these number of years but it seems to be getting even worse.

At times I do believe my hubby loves his mum much more than me. I do not think it,I know and I will no longer live with it. From the moment we got married,my hubby listens more to his mum than me. And when he buys me anything,he must buy for her too.

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At first,I didn’t realize how bad it is. I simply thought he was being kind but I notice that it was like a competition now. His parents are well-to-do and they live in the same town as us. If my hubby buys me a handbag,he will buy the same for his mum,if he buys me anything for that matter,he must buy for his mother too.

A year ago,we were planning our holiday,he never talked about his mum was coming along with us until the day we were traveling. I was stunned. That holiday,every photograph we took,the mom was there. Pretty much everything we did,she was there…its only sleeping together she didn’t do. I believe,if I allowed her,she might also want to sleep in our room.

I asked him why,he said his mum is like his first love. I said to him that he has to see me as his first love and he stated : me and his mum are exactly the same in his heart. That isn’t reassuring to hear. Why cant I be first? He did not demonstrate all these during our 19 months of dating before marriage.

He phones his mum everyday. The mom actualy wants to know pretty much everything happening in our home. When I had my baby,the mom bought an entire container of gifts for my baby. I am thankful however she uses that opportunity to manipulate my hubby.

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My mother in-law will be telling my hubby that i’m not taking good care of the baby. For instance,she advises I use a specific baby product and I said: no ma,my baby has already been using this one,she will call my hubby and tell him I don’t listen and I don’t know how to look after my own baby.

This has resulted in a lot of misunderstandings between me and my hubby. I’ve been trying my very best to disregard her and her manipulations. But in all honesty,I feel like a side chic to my hubby and his mum is his wife. My hubby claims I am over reacting.

A couple of weeks ago,when the talk of social distancing started,my hubby was like,we will go to his parents house for some time. I said no, I don’t want to go there. He stated accusing me of planning to separate him from his family. Am like,am I not your real family now?

I am sick and tired of this fights between me and my hubby. It seems he doesn’t want to understand that he is now married and he needs to focus his attention on his new family. I will not compete for my husband’s attention with another woman:his mum.

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I told him if he insists on going to his parents place for the lock down,I will go to the east and stay with my parents too. He said fine:you cant take my child with you. This is when I lost it. My son is 11 months old. Does he expect me to leave him with him and his mum?

Where did I go wrong here? Am I asking for too much? Why will my hubby pick his mum over me? We’ve not being talking to one another for the past 2 days because of this. He is going to his parentst omorrow.

I am not the type of woman to come in-between a man and his family but this marriage feels like its between me and his mum and my husband. Like they dont care about my feelings.

What do I do? I am thinking of running away with my son today. Perhaps pretend to be going to get something and run away from there…I am really so unhappy and upset. what should I do?

Bayo Ajibola

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