Whether you are newly married or have been with your partner for a while, you know that marriage takes work, but there are secrets to a happy marriage to understand. We always look at successful couples and think: how? What are the secrets of a happy marriage? As you spend your time reading wedding books, attending seminars and browsing the web, they seem to have it all figured out but honestly, it’s not always as easy as it looks.
The happy marriage you see and admire didn’t just come from a seminar, it came from trial and error – a lot of it. Obviously, everyone wants a happy marriage, but not everyone really wants to strive for it. There are some secrets that happy couples keep close to them to make the marriage work. There are yet, certain things that can make or break your marriage, they include
1. You don’t have to win every fight
You will have many arguments throughout the relationship, but the important thing is not to focus on being right. There will be times when you will have to agree to disagree. And that’s fine.
The important thing is that you respect your partner’s opinions and don’t underestimate them. Just because you are married does not mean that you have the same opinions.
2. Accept your partner completely
You know your partner’s flaws before you agreed to marry them. What causes many marriages to disintegrate is the lack of acceptance among partners. There are certain things you can’t change about your partner so what’s best to do? Accept them completely.
Let’s get upset until nightfall, but what’s the point? These flaws are not things that just “appeared”. Sometimes they have tried changing these bad habits but to no avail. Instead of bringing the house down or causing problems, overlook these things. Focus on changing your perspective instead of trying to make them change who they are.
3 Stop trying to control the relationship
This is one of the major things that will break your marriage. As a man or a woman, don’t always strive to be in control, it will only cause problems between you and your spouse. You need to remember that you and your partner are two people who are married and you are both in control of the marriage.
There is no sole leader in marriage, you both work together to make things turn out well. You are not in charge so don’t think you can try to control your partner. It will not work well for you. One of the secrets of a happy marriage is to really understand yourself as much as you want to understand your partner. If you feel you are lost, do more on your own to rediscover yourself.
4. Don’t mention divorce
It doesn’t matter if you are arguing or not, you should never mention the big word Divorce. If you plan to use it as a threat, you can get a divorce, because that’s what will happen. Using the word “divorce” is just a way for you to manipulate and control your partner, which is not proper. Apart from that, it sends a bad signal to your partner. It will make them begin to ask many questions and also to look at your union in another light.
5. Don’t focus on being happy alone
In marriage, the happiness of both parties matters. It is almost meaningless if you are happy while your partner is not. When you see a happy couple, they don’t spend the day trying to be happy separately, they are happy together.
There are many ways to stay happy together Doing activities together, communicating and being intimate is what makes a couple happy. The important thing is that when you are not happy, focus on bringing hope and joy back into your life.
There are some couples who prefer not to have sex frequently and they live well. Some other people do not. Intimacy is important in every marriage but it is left for you and your partner to decide whatever it is that makes you two happy.
However, for many couples, intimacy is extremely important and that is why you need to keep it alive. There will be times when you are not feeling sexual and that’s okay. But sex should be regular, with you and your partner creating ways to keep things spicy.
7. Communication is essential
Communication is another important factor that will make your marriage last. You need to truly communicate with your partner. It is not just “hey, how was your day”? You need to talk about how you are feeling, both good and bad. Your partner needs to know what is going on and what they need to do to support you and vice versa.
8. Stop the fantasy
It is normal to fantasize about a lot of things. Your dream house, dream car, job, or other devices You probably had an idea in your head about what your wedding will be like. We all have this fantasy. But listen, let it go. This fantasy is not going to help your marriage, because your fantasy is not reality. Marriage is not perfect, there is no perfect white knight or princess. Be realistic.
9. Don’t forget dating nights
A couple who stays together goes out on dates. It is very easy to sit at home on Friday nights in your PCs with your partner. However, schedule a meeting night at least once a week.
Try something the two of you have never done before, watch a movie or cook a sensual meal together. The date nights ensure that you reconnect with your partner.
10. Never take advantage of them
Sometimes it is easy to forget what your partner does for you, but you should never take it for granted. It is good to be comfortable with your partner. In fact, it is encouraged, but you should never get to a place where you are very comfortable with your partner. They are not your maid, butler or cook. They are your partner.
Nobody said that marriage was easy. Some things you do may affect you and you may not know. In fact, most couples say that marriage is too much work but if you use these secrets, your marriage will excel.