Being Ghosted in a Relationship.

Bayo Ajibola
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Being Ghosted in a Relationship

How Social Media Has Encouraged Rudeness. There was a time when a hand selected suitor would ask an eligible lady’s parents permission to court her. This was serious business and in prim and proper societies the community would police itself in such matters. A gentleman who courted a debutante only to “ghost” her would have made himself a social pariah. But times have changed and now the anonymous nature of the digital age has removed many of the barriers to behaving badly in a relationship.

The so called “fadeaway” has been a thing for years, but it remains more difficult to ditch someone you’ve met face to face. Now that people often conduct entire relationships online, often without real verification that their partners are who they say they are, “ghosting” is the new normal for those who lack the courage to end things graciously. However, there are some techniques one can use to avoid the pain being “ghosted” can evoke. Being Ghosted in a Relationship

Until you’ve met in person always assume this is just a pen pal relationship.

It’s easy to get excited when someone looks perfect in their online profile. But before you start pinning all your hopes on an anonymous someone and mentally picking out china patterns, know that just like IRL (in real life) you’ll kiss a lot of frogs before you find Prince or Princess Charming. Just based on statistics, this person you stay up late chatting with won’t be “the one”. So gird yourself for eventual disappointment because that’s just the cost of doing business.

Don’t ignore the red flags.

If your online romance is moving too fast or if the person you’re talking to seems to have a very complicated life with a lot of excuses, chances are he or she might not be a paragon of emotional stability. Be realistic about impediments like geography. It’s a lot easier to say things you don’t mean to someone who lives an ocean away. Don’t be afraid to pull the plug yourself if you suspect something’s amiss.

Know that this happens even in FTF (face to face) relationships.

While it takes more nerve to “ghost” someone you actually know, it’s still the refuge of scoundrels unwilling to undergo the unpleasantness of an in person breakup. Recognizing that the only control we have in such situations is over our own responses to them is important. You can’t make someone love you, but you can still love yourself even in the midst of a breakup. If you establish in yourself that you’ll always take the high road in your relationships you’ll be less apt to fall apart when someone you care about chooses the easy way out. Being Ghosted in a Relationship


Bayo Ajibola

About Bayo Ajibola

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