Beyond Sex: How to Make a Marriage Work Outside of the Bedroom

As a married couple, one of the greatest pleasures you enjoy is knowing you can have awesome sex, anytime and anyhow you want. Many couples also believe that if you are thinking of marrying someone you need to have sex with them so you are very sure that you are both sexually compatible.

Sadly, couples often mix up steamy sex with emotional love. And once they are done walking down the aisle, they find it difficult to transition from sexual love in the bedroom to love that works just as well outside the bedroom.

The interesting thing is that after the initial hot romance – where you actually shave before each date – things begin to cool off. This stage is where you are supposed to find that you don’t need to have sex to feel connected to your partner. In fact, you’ll know your partner is marriage material when you both can have as much fun outside the bedroom as you do in the bedroom.

For some couples, it means being able to talk long walks discussing their core values, for others, it means snuggling on the couch as they share their future dreams. Having awesome sex as often as is satisfactory for both partners is crucial to a successful marriage, however, beyond that, there are other ways to make a marriage work outside the bedroom.


This probably sounds weird, but strangely enough, the kitchen is an interesting place to bond with your partner. Imagine spending time cooking your meals together – while dancing to music in the kitchen, imagine the fun conversations – opportunities to tease each other – and teamwork that would take.

Of course, there might be some moments where you both could connect emotionally in the kitchen that would be completely different from connecting in the bedroom.


So the meal is done and it’s time to eat. Some of the most successful married couples always say that couples that eat together enjoy a fulfilled married life.

After you have both worked together to prepare your delicious meal, being able to spend some time talking over it helps to release some of the day’s hardships and just de-stress. More than just talking about stuff in your daily lives that needs to be taken care of, this is a time to discuss your struggles and the things you have going on in your mind.


This part of the house is a great place to share some truly intimate moments with your partner. The sitting room is basically where all the “living” happens and there are bountiful opportunities to be emotionally and physically close with your partner. It is the place you watch movies that you both enjoy, a place to play fun games and a place to enjoy meaningful conversations.

It is certainly a great place to bond where you don’t necessarily have to have sex. Of course, there are times when then these moments of emotional connection can lead to some steamy action, but it’ll be happening on any other furniture besides the bed. Wink!

Don’t get it wrong, making your marriage work outside the bedroom doesn’t mean bedroom stuff can’t be done elsewhere as well.


Who says you can’t be intimate with your partner outside the house? Of course, bonding outside your home can be challenging but there are ways to make sure you can connect with your spouse. You could:

  • Sit on a shared picnic towel in the park where you can cozy up to reminisce about things like the first time you slept together or your first date.
  • Send a flirty text to your partner to let them know you are thinking about them or to build some anticipation for some nighttime fun.
  • Give your partner a call at work just to chat a bit – you never know, you could be giving them a much-needed break from the stress of work.
  • Exercise together, after all, there is a saying that a couple that sweats together, stays together.
  • Surprise your partner with a gift and
  • Each night, express your gratitude to your partner for one thing they did that day, no matter how minuscule the act. It could be for anything from grocery shopping, sending that lovey-dovey text, doing the dishes or even planning your vacation.


This is one of the most challenging aspects of a marriage; the extended families. It’s easy to run to friends and family when you have issues in your marriage – like when the husband goes to report the wife to his parents and vice versa.

But if you don’t first understand how to make your marriage work, involving your or your partner’s family is definitely a bad idea.

If you must, airing your dirty marriage laundry with your families has to be at the barest minimum, if at all. I know, you may be tempted by the desire to have someone familiar on your side but without letting them hear both sides of the conflict, the situation is unfair. Not to mention it gives them a bad impression of your partner even when the situation is resolved. At the end of the day, you are only setting your partner up for a hostile relationship with your extended family.

Know first, that your partner is your family now so if you want to make your marriage work, maintaining a good impression of them with your family helps too.

A loving marriage is one that is achieved beyond the bedroom so remember that even though you and your partner have a good romp in the bedroom and can both compartmentalize your emotions, very soon those unfulfilled emotional needs will turn that hot sex life to a cold one.

When you take the time to build a marriage outside the bedroom, you will be creating a marriage that will last for life.

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