Bayo Ajibola

Choosing to Be a Stay-At-Home Mom

Days of old demanded that a woman’s place was in the home (and specifically kitchen) taking care of the husband, children and any other extended family in her home. Times have however changed with women taking up more active roles in the professional world.

This means that the responsibility and the everyday running of the home and taking care of the kids have been delegated tothe house help.

However, some women choose to leave their careers and jobs behind when they get kids to become full time moms. This decision is not an easy one for a woman to make as it is encumbered with much insecurity. A couple can seat down and decide it is the best course of action to take in order to give their child or children the best care.

Risks involved

Financial issues aside, the emotional part of it should be considered, staying at home with just a baby to keep you company can be lonely. This makes it harder especially for a woman who is used to being busy all day at a job they love.

House work although demanding and tiring sometime, it quickly becomes monotonous since you do the same chores over and over. And since this isn’t challenging, for the urban woman, this can quickly turn into a frustration.

Leaving your work colleagues and their constant adoration and looking up to you can be depressing. Self-esteem issues might quickly follow especially if there is no support from family and friends.

Avoiding these risks

It is easier for a mom who’s been in an unfulfilling job with long working hours and bad pay to quit than for one in a fulfilling one. This is because leaving your career behind with no certain date or guarantees of returning can be daunting.  Some might decide to stay at home until all the kids are at a school going age before proceeding with their careers while others quit indefinitely.

Therefore, set clear goals before taking the leap of faith and quitting your job to be a stay-at-home mom. Be sure you can deal with the situation of waking up to house work possibly for the rest of your life. A mom should never quit her job to take up this role against their will as it might quickly turn ugly with resentment.

If you are decided, come up with a support group of similar moms, this will make your days more bearable. Such networking will ensure that you are in touch with reality through interactions with similar women from various backgrounds. Start a play group within your neighborhood where similar moms and kids can play and interact.

Taking up a hobby like knitting clothes for your family can also help kill the time. Also, find online forums where you can find jobs that you can do from home like filling online surveys. Working part time will not only fill your days but you will also make money while at it.

Not bringing home a paycheck

You might experience demeaning feelings when come end month, your man brings home the paycheck.  This is possible if you were used to helping out around the house with the bills and suddenly you are part of the bills.

If this is so, talk it out with your partner who should be in the decision making committee about you quitting your job from the word go. This makes it easier for both of you since no one forced another one’s hand.

Handling the home and childcare part of it shouldn’t be taken lightly. It is demanding and easier on the couple as they know their child or children are safe and well taken care of at all times.

Bayo Ajibola

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