OTHER COMMON CONFLICT ISSUES IN MARRIAGE: Every marriage will one time or another be faced with a conflict. It is sobering for every couple to know this. Having said that, conflicts should not serve to draw us apart. On the contrary, they should serve to make us better and strengthen the bond of our relationship.
The following is a continuation of some very common areas of conflict in marriage.
We all have 24 hours in a day. Conflicts about time arise when the issue of “me” time and family time is not clearly defined. Truth be told, we all need “me” time, that is time alone, to work, to rest, think, enjoy your hobbies and even plan. But how much of this time is needed. the big question is, does your “me” time interfere with your marriage? Ensure that your alone time does not draw you away from your family. The time you spend with your family is one of the greatest indicators of your love for them. It is said that children spell LOVE as T.I.M.E. Learn to exercise balance. After all, balance is the ground of safety.
As much as sex in a marriage has the potential to bond a couple, it also has the potential to wreak havoc. Of course most people do not expect sex to be a source of conflict when they get married. They believe that sex will be an area that will be so fulfilling. And they are right in their belief because it is true. Unfortunately, sometimes it becomes an area that brings frustration to many marriages. Sex is so much more than just being in bed together. There is so much more to this area of the relationship than just being in bed together. This is another area that requires patience and learning. Do not expect your spouse to perform like a celebrity. Learn what they like and what makes them happy. Talk about it too after all who will have the pleasure? Sex is a physical manifestation of what is already in your heart, mind and soul.
The extended family can create sources of conflict for a couple. Expectations and demands from family members especially extended family members can strenuous in a couple’s relationship.
A couple should be like a pair of scissors, anyone that comes in between them risks being cut, including family members. Having said that, it is the duty of the husband and the wife to make their relatives respect their spouse. Don’t discuss your spouse with your relatives. You risk making them look down on him or her. Don’t entertain gossip about your spouse from any of your relatives. Don’t give money to your relatives behind your spouse’s back. If any financial support is given, your relatives should know as much as is possible that you and your spouse are in agreement concerning the support. This is practical wisdom.
Couples should also see to it that they respect and treat relatives from both sides equally. Also create a healthy distance with your relatives. A wise man said, “a wise husband is one who loves his mother so much that he lives five hundred miles from her”.
In this information age that we are in, we are connected through different and many forms of communication. Sadly, many times, we find ourselves in a place where we do not understand each other and neither do we connect with each other. We may chat, post text, tweet and talk but even with all these we fail to understand each other. Good communication should be deliberate. It should be two way. It is not just about talking. Good communication has the following ingredients; talking, listening and understanding. Listening is an important part of communication. That is the only way one can understand. A wise man again said that one should listen twice as much as they talk, that is why God gave us two ears and one mouth. Every couple should strive to have healthy communication.