Dating as a single father

Bayo Ajibola
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There are several contributing factors to single fatherhood. Top on the list is divorce or separation, followed by being widowed. Despite the reasons, there has been a steady rise in single father households. Gone are the days when men shy off raising their own kids single. The man today is empowered and equally able to the task of raising a child, socially acceptable, and successful as well. Dating as a single father

Being a single father brings a variety of challenges and life adjustments. Dating is one of the major areas that most single fathers struggle with. For a single dad, the presence of a child changes the whole dating experience. He can be super successful and good-looking, but still struggle to find and maintain a meaningful relationship. It does not mean he should not try, but here is what he can expect dating as a single father:

  1. No random plans or spontaneity – What makes dating exciting is the thrill of random plans like a weekend out or a last-minute festival attendance. However, for a single father, this is a challenge as he has to make prior plans for his child’s well being before indulging in anything. He probably has to find a babysitter before going out on a date or drop his child at a relatives or friends place.
  2. Rejection the moment he mentions a child – Most ladies swear by never dating a single father. Their reasons although genuine can be misguided. It is not news for a single father to be dropped by their date the moment he mentions a child. First, he will be expected to explain how he ended up a single father and his relationship with his child’s mother. What follows is total disinterest by his date and eventually, he cannot continue seeing him or her.
  3. Conflict between your new partner and the mother of your child. For a single father with a new partner in his life, it is unlikely that his ex-wife or girlfriend will get along with his new love. Although possible, in most cases they will put up with each other’s presence but occasionally disagree on a number of issues. As a single father, how well he handles the situation with the mother of his child will determine his dating experience.
  4. His dating habits will change – A single dad cannot be able to bring home a random date from the bar or dating site. He probably cannot have in-house dates especially at the initial stages of dating. He also has to get his child involved especially when seriously dating. Unlike before, he is accountable for his actions in the presence of his child and must be considerate of their feelings.


There is no reason why a single father should not have an active dating life. However, it will be easier to stick to a healthy diet than score a proper date, one who understands of his situation. Single fathers will need to strike a perfect balance between raising their kids and dating. In most cases, he will be needed to make sacrifices and proper planning in order to succeed at both. In any case, it is never that serious and the primary focus should be on creating a good bond before introducing your date to your child.

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