Dear Women, Don’t Let Love Blind You to These 5 Important Things

Bayo Ajibola

It has been said that a woman in love is almost impossible to convince to see sense and there is a lot of truth in that. Have you ever encountered one? Or maybe you’ve been one! Hope and faith is one thing but outright disregard of common sense is a whole different league and is quite common among googly-eyed women in love. It’s like being in love is a more potent drug for women.

Love is beautiful and essential in a relationship but it definitely cannot sustain it, especially if the relationship is going to last. It should therefore not be the only reason you are together. You’ve been around long enough to know that life is comprised of many aspects and most of them don’t require love to pull off. At least not the love between two people anyway.

Many women (and men, but more women) act like love is all that you need for a marriage to work. Thinking that love conquers all and with it everything will fall into place is not practical at all. Love feels really good and many are in love with that feeling which can cause them to easily ignore other important things that may be plaguing the relationship.

Among the things that women often overlook when in love include:

Financial responsibility

No, this isn’t about the amount of money your man makes. It is about what he does with that money when he gets it. One can make six figures and have unpaid bills or be in serious debt yet they can’t quite explain where it all went. Another one can have a small salary but the bills are paid and they have supplies to last them until the next paycheck. They may be in debt too but they can tell you where the money went.

The moneyed bloke will be difficult to live with because who wants to worry about being thrown out of the house every month yet they have money and can’t seem to convince the husband to pay on time. Or maybe the kids are constantly kicked out of school for lack of payment yet they got the latest PlayStation last week as a gift from their father and it wasn’t second-hand.

Love won’t put food on the table and neither will it fill up your bank account.


Physical, psychological or emotional abuse is difficult to live with but also difficult to walk away from when you love someone. Your love for them makes you look past it and hope that they will change, all the while as they keep messing with your self-esteem. It may look twisted to an outsider but it looks like there’s a chance when you’re the one in it.

Nobody should tolerate abuse in the name of love and that is not feminism speaking. It’s just how love should be. Love strives to build and not break.

Lack of truthfulness

Honesty is an important trait for any human relationship to work. Does your partner lie on the phone when with you? Next you will find that he lies to you. He may say that you misunderstood him but saying one thing and consciously doing another is akin to lying.

It becomes difficult to trust someone like that and more so with your life because that’s what marriage is essentially.

Minimal or no support

Everybody has dreams and aspirations and they thrive when their spouse supports these dreams. It may be not be moneywise but knowing that you have your partner’s full support gives you more strength to pursue your dreams and interests.

It may look okay at first because you think you don’t need their support to flourish but humans need support. You might end up resenting your spouse even if you achieve your dreams but that’s no way to live in marriage.

Emotional instability

There’s a difference between someone who suffers from anxiety, depression or any other mental conditions that are managed and someone who has outright anger issues or are conniving and manipulative. Love will only help get through rough times but won’t fix such issues and they might need professional help. Not dealing with it will cause chaos in your life and you don’t want to be constantly worried about what your spouse will do next.

Love is beautiful but don’t let it blind you into staying with a man who will make your life miserable.


Bayo Ajibola

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