Examples of being Unequally Yoked   in Relationships

Bayo Ajibola
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Examples of being Unequally Yoked.

The best way to put this scenario is by heading over to GotQuestions.org where it says “A yoke is a wooden bar that joins two oxen to each other and to the burden they pull. An “unequally yoked” team has one stronger ox and one weaker, or one taller and one shorter. The weaker or shorter ox would walk more slowly than the taller, stronger one, causing the load to go around in circles. When oxen are unequally yoked, they cannot perform the task set before them. Instead of working together, they are at odds with one another.” Examples of being Unequally Yoked.

The book of 2 Corinthians has clearly stated that Christians should not be yoked with unbelievers but do they really get it? Majority of them do not really get what this statement means. They simply take it to mean that they should avoid being with unbelievers. There is more to this piece of scripture than meets the eye.


The Danger of Unequally Yoked Relationships

You are not on the same page which means that the story being written will not have a good ending. Being unequally yoked means that one person is being dragged along and the other person is bearing the load alone. In all situations, both partners are tolerating each other and not accepting each other. Two cannot walk together unless they agree. What you are doing can be best defined as wasting each other’s time. Yes, you might be good but two good people can at times be good for nothing.


The result of being unequally yoked with each other is that no matter how much effort you put in, no desired result will be achieved because you are pulling each other in the opposite direction. Where two were supposed to be one, they are still two. There is room for divorce, room for growing apart, room for loss, room for regret and pain.

Examples of Unequally Yoked Relationships


The person is an unbeliever


Being a true christian is not easy. The bible says that two are better than one because when one falls the other can pull them up. Question is, what if the one you are with does not share the same beliefs and morals, of what help will they be? Will they help you in your christian journey? Will they integrate the christian lifestyle in family affairs? A relationship with an unbeliever seems sweet before you get married but truth is that two kingdoms cannot reign under one roof.

Huge age differences


Being unequally yoked is not only about spirituality. It is also about age. Yes, how old are you? The bigger the age difference, the prone you are to growing apart. You see, it is good to be in love with someone who is also your friend. This means you do things together and that you have a number of things in common. For instance, you grew up listening to a certain artist or maybe when a certain style of dressing was trending. Age difference means you are not compatible. Woe unto to you if the only thing you can talk about is politics or the weather. Worst of all, you want to go out for bowling and they only want a bowl of soup. There is nothing wrong with age but be yoked with someone who you will age with gracefully.


Lack of maturity, poor emotional intelligence


This should go especially to the ladies. Just because the bible says that your actions can change a man does not mean you should keep on tolerating immaturity.  He is always right, you are always wrong. That is not how things go. Such behaviour is usually a nest that harbors violent behaviour. He will definitely hit you one day? Why, because he is full of ego not reason. Get involved with someone who understands your reasoning and listens to you. Information is power and people suffer because of ignorance.


Christians who are not committed


The buck does not stop with being a christian. You need to be committed to your faith. Do both of you serve at your local church? An easy going christian can easily become the unbeliever of tomorrow. Get someone who is well founded and grounded. Are they accountable to an authority head? Relationships are supposed to lead to marriage and marriage is not about feelings but choices. Choices can sometimes land us in trouble but when we fall down we can get up, question is, is there someone apart from our spouse who can speak sense to us? Be very afraid of a partner who is  their own prosecutor, judge and jury.


What it all means

You already have an understanding of what being unequally yoked means. Now you need to know what being equally yoked looks like. Being equally yoked means that two people are headed to the same destination and share a set of values that will ensure they achieve their goals.

You should also note that there are no two relationships that are alike. This is because every individual is unique. So this means you should not copy paste what other couples are doing. Seek advice but understand that every relationship is different.

Work with what you can manage. Can you manage their personality? Can you manage their temperment? Do not force them to be what they are not. People tend to put their best foot forward during courtship. Do not play it cool let it be real.


At the end of the day do note that once you settle, there is no turning back. Do not be blinded by romance or emotions. There comes a time you have to handle the baggage and the garbage and it will be all yours. Question is, will you be happy dealing with it or will you be regretting? Do not marry the person you cannot live without, marry the one you can live with. The first one is about feelings, the latter is a choice. Besides, two oxen have to pull together.


Bayo Ajibola

About Bayo Ajibola

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