Bayo Ajibola


Life has been good and for the longest time possible I felt incomplete. Like any other woman a point in my life came and all I wanted was a child to call my own and cuddle and play with. The urge was so strong and the fact that my friends and sisters all had children of their own made these feelings even stronger.

I was always willing to babysit and help with my nieces and nephews and everyone started wondering why I was not even thinking of getting a child of my own. What people did not know is that the conditions were not right for me. You see, I was still single and firmly believed in getting a child during marriage.

Time moved very fast and I got older and older as I waited for my man to find me. He did eventually and we got married. You know very well that after marriage comes the search for children and we began trying just like every regular couple does.

Still no baby

A month went by, three months, six months, a year and nothing had happened. We were still childless. We decided to seek an expert’s advice and we found out that there was something wrong with me. Apparently I had waited too long to start trying for a baby (or to get married) and I could not have a baby naturally.

The news was very frustrating to say the least. My husband was very supportive and he never once pointed a finger at me or threatened to leave because I could not give him a baby. He was my rock at this time and I thank him immensely for that.

My family and friends had started dropping hints about children and time not being on our side (when they really meant time was not on my side). It bothered me that they did not really want to find out how I was doing but only focused on their expectations. I heard how some of them talked about fertility problems and treatments and that made me decide not to tell them about my infertility.

Fertility treatment

I went through the various tests and therapies and medications to help me get pregnant. It was a trying period and each and every day I fought the urge to feel like a failure. Everyone that I know had conceived naturally but I could not. I had made many strides in my career and my business and that took a lot of effort but I could not accomplish this effortless task! It took a while but I eventually began thinking positively and my disposition changed.

I finally got pregnant and carried my baby to term! I was worried something would go wrong along the way and get me back to square one but thankfully it went well. I am now a happy mother to a bouncing baby girl!

My family found out about my fertility treatments much later and they felt bad for talking badly about those that have no other option but fertility treatments. I forgave them and got over it but there is still some stigma that is associated with fertilitytreatments of any kind.

People may look at you like a weakling or a failure because you are not able to do even that which comes naturally. Some assume that you chose to enjoy life first or go after your career first and got left out of the baby-making race.

Different situations happen to different people and people should not be quick to judge especially if they don’t have any background information. Everyone has their reasons for doing what they do and they don’t have to be in line with everyone else’s thoughts.

Bayo Ajibola

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