What do First Time Parents Fight about and How to Avoid it

Bayo Ajibola

What do First Time Parents Fight about: Babies can be chaotic and adorable at the same time driving new parents nuts with all their fuss. New parents spend time reading on parental books hoping to be better prepared when their baby arrives. This is not enough since there will be times when no book or medical research will explain why your baby is acting the way they are.

Advice from friends and family on the dos and don’ts can be equally confusing prompting disagreements between the parents. Here is what first-time parents fight about:

  1. Insecurity

First-time parents especially women are overly protective of their children. They will want everyone including the father to wash their hands before touching their baby. Some refuse to give the baby to anyone with strong perfume or body odor citing unclear reasons as to why. This is something new parents fight a lot about since, in the process of being protective of your child, you could come off rude to friends and other family members. To avoid this, politely ask for your partners support in dictating the do’s and don’ts for your child.

  1. Whose turn it is to feed the baby

Raising a child is an exhausting experience even for stay at home parents. They will expect help from the other parent and take turns to check on the baby. However, one party may feel overwhelmed especially if they have other obligations to attend to and need proper sleep to be alert. The other party that is always attending to the baby will feel neglected and unsupported in raising the child. The best to handle this is to communicate openly and lay out a working plan for both parties. Each parent especially dad should learn how to bond with baby. It will help a lot.

  1. Neglecting your partner when a baby comes along

Before a baby comes along, it is usually all bliss and bubble in a relationship. You both have time for each other and do enjoy pampering each other. However, a baby comes and takes over all the attention, pamper and affection in your relationship. Men will complain of sexual deprivation while women just need a bit more time to settle in. If not properly addresses, this issue can cause serious drift even in the most promising relationships. Both parties should put in mind their partner’s needs and expectations and work out how best to fulfill them.

  1. Identifying needs and wants for your baby

Believe it or not, there will be a lot of stuff you will buy for your baby that they actually do not need. For example, there’s no point in having both a sleep sack and a kanga pouch. Both serve the same function. There are things that the baby needs as they begin to grow but most couples fight over these and when they should shop for them. It is important to shop in preparation for the child’s arrival but in some cases, it can be a waste of time and resources. First-time parents need to take it easy on the baby shopping excitement and only get what you really need.


Newborn babies bring excitement and fear to their parents in equal measure. All parents want to give the best care to their newborns but in the process disagree with themselves or others. While it is important to seek counsel or read on parenting, you need to go easy on expectation and be prepared to learn on the job. Understand your partner’s expectations as well during this time and work together as a team for an easy transition.

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Bayo Ajibola

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