Guarding your Heart in a Relationship

Bayo Ajibola
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Guarding your Heart in a Relationship:The Bible says that above all things, we should guard our hearts because from it comes the issues of life. So what does it mean when it is said that you should guard your heart? First and foremost, ask yourself what does a guard do? A guard ensures that the people inside the building are safe and not exposed to any danger. The guard also ensures that if the enemy is around, the people inside are alerted and well prepared to deal with the situation.


Guarding your heart is all about taking care of your interests. Yes, selfishness can be good at times. Protect yourself against people who are negative and toxic to your existence as a person. Keep your mind and body shielded from what will corrupt them. It all starts with the little things that you do on a daily basis like what you listen to and what conversations you start or contribute to. Do not also let feelings of jealousy, pity, anger or bitterness take a hold of you.


When it comes to relationships, guarding your heart is all about observing the effects the other person has on you. Listen to how they act because words and actions are two different elements. Guarding your heart in a relationship means that you do not let your heart control your head.

Why you should Guard your Heart in a Relationship

The same Bible says that no one knows the human heart. Do not underestimate the things your heart can make you do. You are not as strong as you think you are. As humans, we are prone to vulnerability because we are fragile in state. It is for this reason that we should take sober measures to arm ourselves against anything that will drown us. The heart is also the organ that pumps blood throughout the whole body, if it stops, there is physical death. When your heart also stops pumping sense, you will face mental, spiritual and psychological death. You should not let down your guard. Here are some of the reasons why people come to relationships dressed up in guarded hearts;


  1. They are afraid that you will see them for who they really are and might just reject them.
  2. They are afraid that you will break down the walls they have built up.
  3. They are afraid of having their hearts broken.
  4. They are afraid that what they are enjoying might not last.
  5. They are afraid of falling in love and getting attached not knowing what is ahead.

This is not how to Guard your Heart in a Relationship

Guard your heart you must but do not overdo it. Be wary but do not cut yourself off because too much of something is poisonous. Strike a balance. You should also note that just because you are guarding your heart in a particular relationship does not mean that you are immune to being hurt.  This kind of thinking will do nothing more but stop you from interacting with people positively. Once or twice we will get hurt but at least do something to minimize the impact. You are supposed to be wiser while connecting with people but do not avoid them completely.

Signs that you need to loosen up

  1. Intimacy sounds like a joke to you.
  2. Commitment and a jail term sound like synonyms in your head.
  3. You are not willing to go all the way, you just want things to be casual.
  4. You are not comfortable when it comes to revealing your emotions
  5. Being in a relationships suffocates you.
  6. You have heard people telling you that you are mysterious.

Do not get it Twisted

There are several misconceptions out there when it comes to the topic of guarding our hearts but truth is that there are are good and bad people in the world and you need to protect yourself from the latter.

Guarding your heart in a relationship means knowing yourself, what you want, what you can stand and what you cannot tolerate. You will read all these posts where you are told that when it comes to love, there are no promises but truth is that when someone tells you that they cannot make promises they have already made the choice of opting out whenever they feel like. They have just served you the memo.

So How Do you Do It

The journey to self realization is very personal but it is what forms the structure of guarding the heart. Once you know yourself, you will easily know others. Here are a few tips on how you can go about guarding your heart in a relationship.

Know when to open up and when not to

There is a time for everything under the sun. do not expose everything about yourself all at once.  The first date is not when you spill out everything. You are both getting to know each other. Ensure you have something solid before you start throwing solid stuff around. Think of it as weaning whereby you start with soft food before you give the baby solid things to eat.

Do not throw around the word commitment if you are not ready


Commitment comes after everything else has been settled and you are certain that you are both on the same page. Yes, you might be tempted to think of the future but do not put the cart before the horse. Trust the process. Time will reveal everything.

Enjoy each others company

If you want a solid future then you better invest in time. Go on dates, watch movies, visit new places. Get to know each other but have fun while at it. Do not be a robot and do not remote control the other person.


Guarding your heart is all about having principles that will inform the other person who they are dealing with. This allows them to also make a choice but most of all, you made the choice first and that is truly empowering in a beautiful way.


Read more on: How We Discovered the Secret to a Better Sex Life

Bayo Ajibola

About Bayo Ajibola

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