He Wants BDSM & Trash Talk: Is This Normal For Married Couples?

Bayo Ajibola

Please I need your advise and those of the group. I got married to the love of my life. We dated for two years. A very good christian guy. Our marriage is going to be 3 years soon,we have a son of 18 months but I have a problem.

When we got married,my husband used to complain that he noticed that I do not moan during s*x. He also wants me to talk dirty and say all kinds of vulgar words like : f*ck,slut,whore,,,,etc. I was like,its not a big deal jhor. That everyone must not moan or talk dirty during s*x.

At that time,he kind of left me after he saw I was not into all that expressiveness in s*x. However, I realized that he is heavily dependent on watching porn that the porn stars talk dirty and moan like crazy. I was really unhappy about this.

ALSO READ: Makes me sad when I hear about other couples having sex more than 2-3 times a week.

When I talked to him about it,he told me that moaning and talking trash turns him on.So,I decided to fake moaning if that would help. To be honest,I really do not feel comfortable when I moan like a whore or talk trash but he likes it ..he will be telling me to scream,not even minding that people will hear us.

All these I have been doing to help him stop watching porn. Its so bad that one day,my mother who came to visit one weekend called me aside and said you was being too loud. I couldn’t explain to her why I was doing that.

The issue now is: my husband has said he wants to us to do BDSM. I was like :you are joking.He wants us to tie me up and use handcuffs and do all sorts especially during this lock down. To pretend to moan and talk trash is one thing,to be tied up and slapped during s*x is another thing.

ALSO READ:I Kept A Secret From My Sister To Protect Her Marriage

This is making me think my husband has a s*x addiction. Am I wrong? Of course I refused BDSM and he gets it through watching porn. I cant kill myself just to please a man. I am just so worried about the effect of this on him and our marriage.

Is my husband an addict? Is BDSM  a normal thing? Are there normal couples who engage in BDSM…please advise me…what can I do? I need advise.


Bayo Ajibola

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