How do I politely ask my mother-in-law to leave? She’s becoming a burden to us.

Please keep me anonymous. I am a young mother of three. I recently gave birth and because my mom isn’t around, my mother-in-law decided to come and stand in for her. Ever since she came, I have been very uncomfortable. I thought I would be able to rest and bond with my child but I realized that it’s not happening and it might not even happen as long as she is here. Since she came, she rarely helps me to do anything not even to cook. I used to think that nursing mothers are supposed to rest and be well taken care of but none of that is happening. In my previous pregnancies, my mom took very good care of me. I never did any stressful thing.

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My mother was in charge of cooking, cleaning and even bathing the baby. She would also wash the clothes and ensure that I got enough sleep. She would go to the market, buy foodstuffs and cook different meals for us. I really had a great time when my mom was around. Since my mother-in-law came, the only thing she does is to bath the baby. She doesn’t cook or do anything else. It is not as if I am expecting her to overwork herself or act like a househelp in my house. All I expect is for her to help me, just help me with the activities in the house. My other kids are still small so they can’t do much. I expect her to support me at least.

She has stayed one month already and I do everything in this house. I go to the market, I cook, I clean, I even wash her own clothes. All these things are very stressful for me and I am loosing it. If you see me now, you won’t believe that I am a nursing mother. I have lost so much weight instead of gaining weight just like other women. To top it all, it is not as if I have good communication with my mother in-law. We don’t vibe that much. Yes, we talk, but the connection is not there. We rarely talk much. She spends most of her time watching TV while I either clean the house or stay in the room with my baby. 

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This is really weighing me down. I have spoken to my husband about it and he agrees that his mom has not been quite helpful. He wants her to leave as well but he can’t outrightly tell her to do so. I can’t do that either so I need help on that. I want to know the best trick to use or what exactly to say to her. She is just occupying space in the house while doing nothing. She needs to leave. I can no longer continue to have her here. 


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