How do you know if God sent your Mate

Bayo Ajibola

There are so many illusions and stories that confuse the picture painted of what love really is. It is something that forms the subject of poetry, movies and even music. The message delivered is that of excitement and powerful feelings that are meant to last forever.  We are actually told that there is someone out there meant for us who when we meet everything will fall into its place perfectly.

It is said that the one meant for you will make you a complete person but usually we have very high expectations and at times this throws us off course and we forget God’s plan for romantic love.  So the question is, how can we avoid being transformed into the world’s way of thinking and remain in God’s will?

Wait for God to wake you up

Can you recall the story of Adam and Eve and how God made Adam go through the process of preparation? God did not give Adam the woman he first of all gave Adam work and he gave him other creatures and Adam gave those creatures names and none of them was named as his wife ,Eve. it was when Adam noticed that something was missing and that he was alone  that God decided to make him a helper fIt for him.  So how did God get Adam to notice that he was alone?  God brought forth animals that he had created and  by Adam noticing the animals with their mates,  God was alerting Adam about his uniqueness and the fact that he was alone. The funny point here is when we are alone we tend to deviate from God and go our own way, seeking our own path and our own love but in this case when Adam was alone, he stayed put and a deep sleep was brought over him and as he slept,  God made him a helper and brought her to the man.

The world today encourages pairing at a very young age.  People want to start dating as soon as they hit puberty but we as christians should avoid this way because it only ends in trouble. It is important for you to remain stIll and have faith in God’s timing and that He will bring you your mate and that can save you from a lot of heartache.

Go for God’s selection

Apostle Paul stated a warning in the book of Corinthians that believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers because there is no relationship between righteousness and and righteousness. A good christian will need this advice because it is very critical. Marriage is not about feelings it is a choice. This choice was so important that when Abraham sort a wife for his son Isaac, he did not get the wife from Canaan but instead he went back to his home country. Even before Adam was aware that he needed a wife, God already had that planned and that is why God went ahead to make him a helper that would be fit for him Indeed God wants you to marry and He wants you to marry right and He wants you to marry the person he has chosen for you.

Believe in the Mystery

Marriage is bigger beyond our personal needs and satisfaction. Marriage is about purpose and at the same time marriage is a mystery. The bible says that for this purpose a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one.  We do not understand how to become one.  There are very many factors involved and that is why the input from the wife is submission while the input of the husband is to love and even give up his life for the wife. Marriage is a ministry in itself where by two people devote their lives to each other and God uses both of them to accomplish His purpose on earth.

Stand Firm

Abraham and his servant both stood firm in their commitment to God and His purpose concerning Canaan. The servant is given a duty to find Isaac a wife but he has a question that what if the woman is not willing to come back with him she, will he return with Isaac and Abraham says no. For us to know God’s guidance we must lay aside every personal aspect and every personal will. In short we should go before Him empty and take up His will as our own and commit ourselves to it. God will reveal the steps we need to take. Do not go before God seeking approval for your plans God only reveals His will to those are committed to Him. 

Obedience and Common Sense

Abraham’s servant did not just go back to his tent and start praying and speaking in tongues for Isaac’s wife instead he rose up and went and in the journey he had moved out in obedience but now common sense came in when he carried gifts to secure a wife. He was acting according to culture. Do not get super spiritual when it comes to determining God’s will for your life. Obey God and use common sense you will not find your mate where the presence of God does not dwell. This means you will not find your mate in the bar or in the club or in a strip joint. Common sense comes in in terms of skills and character dress well, groom yourself, know how to cook, know how to speak and  go out there and socialize.

Take it to the lord in prayer

You are seeking a mate for life and therefore you must soak everything in prayer. When the servant met Rebecca, he did not just take her.  It was not about chance, it was all about prayer he took it to God and what he saw happening was just God manifesting his specific requests. It is no wonder that when Isaac saw Rebecca from afar, he forgot about the loss of his mother and was pleased with Rebecca.

Watch out for these things

Godly character

It is ok to go for a good looking partner but godliness rates highly above all qualities. Look for a person who can deny themselves and focus on God and others. Marriage to  person who is not mature spiritually could make your world turned upside down because seasons change in life.

Be the right person

You attract what you are therefore we can easily conclude that Rebecca was not doing public relations she was simply being herself. You need to be the kind of person that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Ask your parents

Your parents know more about marriage than you do and you can learn from their mistakes and make a choice. You can ask both your biological and spiritual parents or any other elderly couple that you look up to.  If your parents are against the marriage then there counsel might not be valid but still pay attention when elderly people speak.

Have a deeper foundation

Love is not the foundation for marriage if it were then Isaac and Rebecca would not have been together. Romantic love is good but what happens when the feelings die out what happens when conflicts come in? Marriage is about choices.  You make a choice to spend the rest of your life and love a particular person.

You will know they are the one Because:

  • The spirit will bear witness
  • They will have seen the best and the worst in you and still love you
  • Troubles will not push you apart but bringing clothes together
  • They make you a better person
  • You see yourself in them
  • They are your peace and not your calamity

Bayo Ajibola

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