How to Confirm a Date Without Looking Desperate

You have agreed to go on a date, but it may be that no solid plan has been made. This means that the idea is still floating in the air casually, without confirmation. The problem is that we all agree on things at a time when we have no intention of doing so. So when you’re trying to confirm the details of the date, you also ask if they still want to go out with you. You are subtly remembering that they agreed to meet you. 

What if they changed their mind? What if they agreed just because it was weird at the time, but never really had any intention of actually continuing this? This might feel awkward and a bit embarrassing. This lack of dignity may make you not even bother to try to confirm the date in the first place, but what if you are missing out? What if they feel the same way, worried that you might want to give up and too afraid to be the one to take the first step and try to set the date in motion?

The best advice is, Just do it. Despite that, we wouldn’t want you to jump with both feet, a little too anxious. Because of that, the three elements of how to confirm a date without looking desperate come into play. These elements include: 

1. Use the right words

The words you use dictate whether or not you are desperate or simply wondering. Obviously, just imagining is the feeling you’re should give off. Without a doubt, it is best to always confirm a date by message or text. Never call and ask. It is very embarrassing if they say no, and they may also feel that they need to agree when they really don’t want to. 

You need to reach the perfect piece of the middle ground. If you say many words, you may appear desperate and few words may make you seem uptight. To begin with, no one has time to read an essay, and secondly, you must at least look like you want to meet that person. Keep it light and uncomplicated and avoid negative phrases, such as “if you don’t want to, I understand”. This seems desperate on many levels, as much as “please come”.

Something like “hey, I wondered if you were still willing to meet?” And then wait for their response. Do not confirm with a date, time and place of meeting until you know that the date will actually move forward. You’re ditching here without looking like you’re trying too hard. If they don’t respond, accept it as no and move on. If they respond with something that clearly sounds like they’re trying to postpone you again, take the tip and move on.

However, if they respond with a positive answer, just say something like “Great. How is Sunday? I am free anytime after 6pm. It looks like you have a life because you are busy before 6 pm, but it does not determine where they need to be and what time, almost as if they are going to a job interview. Avoid anything else. Save the “great to see you” for the actual date.

2. The moment

The next element is time. Words are nothing without the right timing. First of all, remember that people have busy lives and that means you cannot suggest a date for that night or even for the next day and expect them to be free. Send your text at least three or four days in advance, giving them enough time to find out what else they have already planned. It also makes it look like you’re busy and you can’t just drop everything either.

Don’t send your message too early in the morning or late at night. Very early on he seems anxious, because it basically implies that they were the first person you thought of when you woke up. Nice, but save it for when the relationship is solidified, if you get that far.

Sending text messages late at night also shows that you are thinking about them for the wrong reason or that you were too busy to think during the day. Anyway, stay in the middle of the day, maybe in the middle of the afternoon, to send your message.

3. Don’t be desperate

Finally, when learning to confirm a date without looking desperate, stick to the ‘strike and you’re out’ rule. Basically, you send a text message about the date only once. If they answer, great; otherwise, go ahead and don’t send another text under any circumstances.

Do not send a cheerful text about something totally different, subliminally trying to remind them of the date you should have. Yes, that’s how the human mind works. You are showing despair if you keep sending them a message. Ask them once and leave it at that.

At the end of the day, if they don’t respond to you, do you really want to go out with that person? It is rude to fantasize about someone, and responding to say “no thanks” is better than ignoring them completely. Yes, it is hard to act uninterested when you really want to meet that person and go out on a date. But it is important that you do not receive any response or an odd response for the intended purpose. It is basically a no without actually saying the words. Move on and find someone you don’t have to work for.

It is not difficult to understand how to confirm a date without looking desperate, as long as you stick to the three rules discussed above.  

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