Dating someone who is your opposite or who is very different from you can be quite challenging. It puts you through a lot of nervous and stressful moments because of the differences. It is not an easy task but with the right tips as listed below, you can handle it effectively.
1. Be flexible
Be aware that the way you learnt to deal with life is not always the correct way, do not take your truths as absolute truth, it may be that the other person acts differently and also manages to resolve a certain situation differently. Try to see things from their own perspective and as much as possible, contain their excesses and be more open minded. Always bear in mind that things may not always go your way.
2. Be empathetic
Thinking about yourself is very important, but so is looking at the other. Try to understand why he acts in a certain way. Sometimes he had spent his whole life acting like this therefore changing may be a difficult task, the person needs to want it and it takes time. Be empathetic and try to accommodate your partner’s feelings and thoughts. It is going to save you from a lot of trouble.
Tell your partner what your physical and emotional needs are, what you like and feel good about and what makes you feel angry or sad. As much as you think some attitudes are obvious and you expect this from your partner, remember that the obvious also needs to be said, because maybe for him it is not so obvious. Your partner is not a mind reader so it’s best you speak about how you feel.
4. Don’t compare your life story with his
Everyone knows the pain they feel and where the shoe gets tight. What is small for one may be great for the other, what causes pain for one may not cause pain for the other. So respect your partner’s experiences and limitations.
In relation to old relationships, it is no use comparing yourself to old girlfriends or boyfriends, if your partner wanted to be with someone else, he would. If he is with you now, it is because he chose you. Thus, the past must be left behind and the present lived in full.
5. Do not criticize blindly
Endless criticism doesn’t help your relationship in any way. If you have problems with the way he or she does things, or the way they act towards you, it is best to speak to them about it in a calm manner. Try not to do this angrily, if you speak about all the things you don’t like with an air of aggression, the likelihood that the person will respond aggressively is very high and he may not listen and the problem will not be resolved.
6. Realize if differences are acceptable and that you can live with them
People usually ask questions and try to know if it’s possible to live with the difference in age, beliefs, religion and more. Everything will depend on the degree of suffering that these differences bring to your life. Is it something you can live with?
Are you willing to accept the consequences this may have for you? Will the effects change your life positively or negatively? Does it impact your general well-being? These are some of the questions you should consider and the decision to leave or stay with someone will depend on your answers.
7. Differences are also important.
When we live with someone different from us, we have the possibility of getting out of the extremes and trying to maintain balance, that is, if your partner is more rational and you are more emotional, he can help you work with your rationality and you can help him work your emotions. If you have a lot of fears and your partner doesn’t, he can help you be less fearful.
Enjoy the best of each other’s lives and grow together.