As a single mother, your child is sure to ask you that dreadful question, where is daddy? During their younger years, you may get away with telling your child a few white lies about their dad. However, as they grow older, they begin to constantly nag you with that same question.
Although it may be difficult to explain to a child why they do not have a daddy just like other children, running away from the truth will only make matters worse. For instance, your child might start to think that something is wrong with them or worse still, set out to look for their father. Here are several tips that will help you explain to your child why their father is not around.
Keep it simple and be honest
It is imperative to be honest when talking to your child even though it seems much easier to lie to them. The last thing you want is to lie to your child and have them resent you later. Respect the fact that your child is entitled to the truth, and help them to understand the entire situation.
Reassure your child of their dad’s love
One thing that most single mothers fail to do is to let their children know that their fathers love them even if they are not around. When you have that conversation with your child, let them know that both you and the absentee father still love them. You want to assure your child that it’s not their fault that dad is not around, and sharing the fact that their father loves them, gives them that assurance.
Stay away from bashing
Do not bash your child’s father irrespective of the circumstances by which he is absent. If you start condemning them, you only make things worse because your child will probably resent you for the fact that their father is not around.
Explain that there are different types of families
Some families have both mom and dad, others only have dad and others only have mom. Explaining this to your child is very important as it helps them understand why they are different from others. As they grow older, they will appreciate that you made that effort to make them understand.
Ensure your child knows that it’s not their fault
It may be his fault, or yours but it is definitely not your child’s fault why their father is not around. State this clearly to your child, do not leave them guessing. You may have to repeat this a lot of times as well. This is because a lot of insecurities may surface and you want to reassure your child that although it is okay to express their feelings about the situation, it is not their fault in any way.
Be open to more conversation
Your child will not ask you about their father on only one occasion. Do not be irritated any time they bring the question up. Instead, be available and open to answer questions, provide clarification, or just repeat yourself. You want your child to know that they can talk to you about anything and everything.