How to know God’s Will in a Relationship

Bayo Ajibola
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How to know God’s Will in a Relationship.

When we say the Lord’s prayer there is a part where we ask for the will of God to be done. When it comes to relationships that are serious and leading to marriage, we really need to go deeper with this request. True, it is easy to ask for God’s will to be done but when it comes to letting God have His way, there is always a difficulty.


In order for you to know God’s will in your relationship you need to know what exactly makes up a godly relationship. First things first, you need to know what your relationship status is from the word go. In the world we are living in today there are two definitions. You are either courting or dating. Courting means that the man in your life sought permission from your parents to take you out and eventually marry you. Your relationship is known even by your spiritual authorities. Dating on the other hand is whereby two people try their luck in relationships. Dating does not necessarily translate into marriage.


What is the Motive in your Relationship


Two cannot walk together unless they agree and the question is, what do the two of you want to achieve in your relationship? In courting, the aim is that the man will make a woman his wife. He has already informed the parents and especially the father because one day, authority will change hands from father to husband. Dating on the other hand is casual. It is all about having a good time and there are very many bridges crossed here. In dating, sex outside marriage is very common. Yes there is a chance that dating could lead to marriage but there is a lot of trial and error in order to find the right one and in the process other people are really hurt.


Check on your Relationship with God


Most christians really want to know God’s will in their relationships and the answer lies with them. Before you go about a relationship with someone, you need to check the status of your relationship with God. If you cannot cultivate a relationship with Him then you can never be able to know His will.  The Bible says that husbands should love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. Looking at this verse carefully we deduce that before a man gets to properly love his wife, he must first love Christ. Christ is the example that married men should follow. So a man must follow Christ, learn of Christ like love and then project the same on his wife. So if a man does not have a relationship with God, he has no point of reference when it comes to a healthy loving relationship that glorifies God.


Check on your Character


The scriptures also speak of the character of wives. That the wife can lead a man to God through her character. What characteristics do we ought to have as christians? We should simply be loving, kind, selfless, peaceful and definitely forgiving.  We should also note that submission is not only for wives but also husbands. God is the glory of Christ, Christ is the glory of the husband and the husband is the glory of the wife. The husband must therefore submit to Christ. The man should have an authority that he looks up to because the woman will respond according to what the man puts first.


Look at the cross. It is where divinity met humanity. The relationship between God and His people was restored.  This relationship must have meant quite a lot. Why would God sacrifice His only son for it? Why would you belittle such a significant move?


You need to do the following


Stop having sex


Sex is for married couples only. Forget what everyone else says. Sex is sweet and enticing but at the same time it might just end up spoiling the icing on the cake. Sex messes up your thinking capacity. You will not reason well. Your emotions will be all over the place and you might actually mistake lust for love. Why is it so hard to obey God? Do not give away your very essence. Humans do not mate like animals they do it in glory of the creator. Do not have sex not even if you want to throw versace on the floor.


Guard your heart


This means watching what you consume with your eyes and ears. Avoid sexual arousing songs, programs and materials. You will at times to change the company you keep. What are you wearing? You have all your married years to tease each other.


Spend more time with God


Going to church on Sundays is not enough. Read the Word, spend time in prayer. Prayer is not a fire extinguisher which you use to dron the fires in your life. Prayer is communication with God. you will hear a voice behind you saying this is the way go ye in it. The Spirit of God knows the deep things of God and will guide you in His will.


So How Do I know that My Relationship is Wrong


Just as a godly relationship has God written all over it, a doomed one has the symptoms of failure ahead. The first sign that a relationship is headed for failure is that it  has no definition. The two of you have a good time and that is just it. No family knows. No titles.


The two of you seem to be writing part two on the series “ The Art of War” or it could be that one of you is an onion. There is no peace. Where God dwells there is peace.


You feel drained. You are always giving yet it is supposed to be give and take.


Lastly, you find yourself compromising on your morals and principles. Any relationship that takes you from His presence is not His present.


Allow Time and Space


Wait on God. He will confirm everything within His time. The Holy Spirit is our helper and He will help you. You can also confide in a mature christian for guidance.



Bayo Ajibola

About Bayo Ajibola

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