How to Know if Your Partner is a Psychological Abuser

Unfortunately, abusive relationships are extremely common. Many women are trapped in very destructive situations that can cause harm ranging from severe trauma, depression and other disorders, and even death. Psychologists warn: these victims may be living with a psychological aggressor, who is more difficult to identify and causes as much damage as physical violence.

Are you unhappy in your marriage? Do you feel trapped, isolated or have low self-esteem? Could this be because your partner is a psychological abuser? It is very important to identify this early, as psychological abuse can become physical violence and have even more serious consequences.

It is very common for victims of abuse to react with surprise and present these behaviors:

  • Doubts about self. It is common for the victim to question whether this really happened or if it was a mere illusion 
  • Anxiety or fear 
  • Shame or guilt
  • Aggression as a response to abuse
  • Excessive passivity and/or complacency
  • Frequent crying
  • Feelings of defeat and helplessness 
  • The victim feels that he is constantly “walking on eggshells”
  • Feelings of being manipulated, used and controlled
  • Feelings that your presence is unwanted.

How to identify a psychological abuser

Abusers are usually people who have a compulsion for control. Physical and psychological violence are the ways they tend to achieve their goals. They are usually self-centered, impatient, irrational, insensitive, ruthless, and lack empathy and are often jealous, suspicious, and even paranoid.

It is also very common for the psychological aggressor to distance his victim from their family and friends in order to have absolute control over them. Sudden mood swings are common. Screaming, threats and mockery are very common and easy to identify, but there are more difficult signs. Check out some of the more common ones.

Frequently Disagreement: It is very common for psychological abusers to argue against anything the victim says. Basically, he will go against everything in order to undermine any constructive conversation. Especially when it comes to his relationship and behavior. Over time, the person no longer has an opinion and says yes to everything that is said.

Blocking and silencing:

This is another tactic used to interrupt the conversation. The psychological aggressor can change the subject, accuse the victim and even distort what is said. This is a subtle way of saying “shut up” to the person.

Belittling: This verbal abuse minimizes or trivializes the victim’s feelings, thoughts, or experiences. It’s a way of saying that your feelings don’t matter or are wrong. There are several ways to do this, the most common being to ridicule the person, or say that he has been through worse things, something like “I suffered more than you, so stop being so fretful”.

Interrupt all the time:

Basically, the psychological aggressor interrupts the victim all the time, not allowing her to complete her sentences and arguments. This not only prevents constructive conversation from taking place, it is aimed at destroying the victim’s self-esteem and self-confidence.

A psychological abuser can deny and even distort promises and agreements. And not only that, events that actually occurred can be completely denied and distorted. “I haven’t looked at another woman, you’re crazy”, “I never said that, you’re making it up”, “I yell at you because you upset me” and other phrases are common to the victim of abuse. This is manipulative behavior that causes the victim to gradually doubt their memory, perceptions, and experiences.

These are just some of the signs that your partner may be a psychological abuser. If you’ve noticed that he has at least one of the signs described in this text, be very careful: you may be the victim of an abusive relationship.

It is very important to seek help from a psychologist because unfortunately, people may not realize the seriousness of the situation and in some cases even worsen it without therapy . An abusive relationship is very difficult to let go of and sometimes the victim himself doesn’t realize she is in one.

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