How to Regain Your Self Esteem After a Terrible Breakup

The breakup process can be painful, especially if it comes from betrayal or a lack of love. When a relationship ends, it is natural that several emotions come to the surface, as it is necessary to leave the comfort zone and have to adapt to a new phase of life. Generally people feel lost, distressed and with a feeling of emptiness, these feelings can remain present for a long time.

After the end of a relationship, going through grief is a normal process and it’s possible to overcome it with serenity. Grief has several phases, which include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. To facilitate the process of overcoming the end and recovering self-esteem, the ideal is to invest in yourself, to know yourself better, establish what is acceptable and what is not in a relationship and set goals for the future, because despite the break, life goes on.

Here are some tips that can help you overcome this phase and regain your self-esteem:

1. Allow yourself to feel

When a relationship ends, it is very difficult to pretend that nothing happened, since you lived with the person for a certain time, shared your life, your stories and your dreams, so allow yourself to feel and let off steam, express your emotions. Let your tears fall if necessary, because crying relieves emotional pain. Do not repress your feelings or be ashamed to cry, as this is what makes you human and everyone is subject to these feelings.

2. Reconnect with your essence

After the end, it is common to feel lost, not knowing who you are, which way to go. Therefore, seek your internal values, your principles, and self-knowledge. Do things that fill you and make you feel good, alone or in the presence of friends and family. Also practice exercises that release endorphins that provide well-being and engage in activities that you enjoy, but did not do when you were committed. 

3. Take care of your health and appearance

The  self-care  is the practice of paying attention to ourselves. Through this practice, it is possible to understand your needs and desires, either physically or emotionally. Self-esteem is the perception we have of ourselves and is directly linked to self-care. Health and self-esteem go hand in hand, so take care of your appearance, health and nutrition. Taking care of yourself will make you feel better about yourself and have more self-confidence.

4. Reorganize your routine

When we are in a relationship, it is very common to do most activities as a couple. Thus, it is necessary to reorganize the routine after the end of a relationship. Make a list of daily tasks that occupy your time and mind, organize your days with obligations, but don’t forget to include your leisure time. Just do things that are different from what you and your partner did together. 

5. Make new plans for the future

Maybe you had plans as a couple, so redo those plans, set goals and deadlines. Be it taking a course, a trip or anything that contributes to your personal and professional growth and well-being. Don’t keep looking back into the past and all that could have worked out but didn’t. Focus on you, the present and the future and most importantly, make the best out of it. 

6. Invest in self-knowledge

It’s important to know who you are and what your values ​​and principles are. Make a list of your strengths and limitations, look at your best and value it. Think about behaviors that can improve and ways to be a better person in your next relationship. 

If even trying hard and practicing these tips you are not able to cope with this phase, feel unable to recover your self-esteem and overcome the end of the relationship, a psychologist can help you along this path.


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