Learning how to maintain a long-distance relationship with your partner can seem like an impossible feat, not to mention learning how to thrive in it. On the bright side, phone and web applications available today makes things a little bit easier. Gone are the days when hearing from your long-distance partner would take months and required a town crier or a pigeon or maybe a horse just so you can say hi.
Long-distance relationships today, especially with the advent of email, Whatsapp texting, twitter, and skype, should totally be much easier right? Wrong!
So maybe distance might no longer be an obstacle to keeping in touch but actually connecting with your partner staying hundreds or thousands of miles away is still not so easy. Add this to the usual ups and downs of being in a relationship and it becomes less surprising why many long-distance relationships don’t work out.HOW TO THRIVE IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.
However, long-distance relationships can work, it only requires some planning, communication, and creativity.
Continue reading to find some of the best ways to keep your relationship alive and to help you and your partner thrive in a long-distance relationship.
TRUST AND BE TRUSTED
This is one of the hardest parts of being in a long-distance relationship: Trust. The fact that you aren’t there with them to see what they are doing makes it easy to question whether your partner would give you up for someone closer to them.
But for your long-distance relationship to succeed, you mustn’t through around suspicion between you and your partner. Either you decide they are trustworthy or you don’t. If you understand your importance to your partner, then don’t create distance between the two of you out of fear or insecurity. Most times, what you fear never happens, it’s all just wasted space in your head.
On the other hand, you need to be trustworthy too. Don’t go making very close friendships with members of the opposite sex. It’s fine if it’s in a group or you are just acquaintances, but getting too close is a big no-no…absolute danger zone. You may think you trust yourself, but we are humans after all. Never place yourself in situations where you may be tempted to question your feelings for your partner.
Doing that doesn’t build trust and stability in a relationship and it sure doesn’t respect your partner.
NO TEXTING DURING A FIGHT
Sure it’s not as dangerous as texting while driving, but remember what I said earlier about skype and twitter? It can make for easier communication but during a fight, it can definitely turn things ugly. Most times written things can be misinterpreted which makes things even worse. Since you don’t know what tone of voice your partner is using, things just escalate from there.
If you have any frustrations or you want to discuss something with your partner, set a time to make a phone or video call. Then both of you can communicate and understand what is being communicated.
Keep in mind that it is absolutely not worth it to vent any frustration and anger into a long-distance relationship.
This depends on your kind of relationship but regardless of if you are the couple that likes to video call for a few hours every day or the type that is alright video chatting once or twice a week, always ensure that your communication is consistent.
Nothing makes a relationship – long-distance or not – feel more secure than having a set to talk. It makes you both know that you respect each other enough to be there and that you care enough to want to talk. Of course, spontaneous phone calls and texts are great too, but never forget to make actual time to have some real communication.
HAVE REAL COMMUNICATION
So you’ve established consistency in your communication, what comes next is actually communicating. You need to make sure that every time you have your Whatsapp video or phone call date, talk to your partner about how you are feeling. Don’t just touch on basic life events and work – like many men tend to do – let your partner know any thoughts or frustrations or fears you wish to bring up about your relationship or the future.
Doing this is the only way to continue building trust and intimacy which stops emotional walls from being built and it helps to work through problems instead of keeping them bottled inside which eventually blows the issue out of proportion.
SET SOMETHING FOR THE FUTURE
Always have in mind a plan for the future. Even if you don’t have a set date for ending the distance in the meantime, make sure that you and your partner are consistently working towards seeing each other again. It doesn’t matter if it’s half a year to one year down the road, have something planned.
For example, save the money you’ll need for a plane ticket, even if it’s just a few thousand naira per month – or whatever is manageable for you. Make it your priority to see your partner, because those visits play a great part in making this long-distance relationship not just to survive but to thrive.
Also, if you are able to, have a set date for when the relationship will no longer be long distance. If the relationship is really established for the long term, then don’t make that date open-ended. Know the exact period that you want to close the distance and keep working towards it.
Of course, things may change and not everything will go as planned, but if you are serious about your partner, then make it serious enough for you to figure out when the distance would end.
Contrary to popular opinion, long-distance relationships do work, as long as both parties are willing to do the necessary things to make it work. It can be difficult but if the person is the right one, then making the sacrifice is totally worth it.