After a breakup, you may realize that you really can’t do without your partner. You might have done some self-evaluation and realized that you were wrong. While you’re deciding whether or not to come back, the best thing to do is to avoid contact with your ex. It is important to have no contact with your ex during the first 30 days of separation.
This is not just for you to deal with your own emotions. But also to process the separation without being affected by emotions. A time alone will reveal how you really are, and whether the relationship was stopping you from being yourself. It’ll also determine if you should really go back to him.
If you decide to be together again, the ideal is to make room for each other. Here are 7 ways to win back your boyfriend:
1. Focus on you
The truth is, most times when people leave relationships, there’s a natural feeling of loneliness which sometimes makes you want to go back to your boyfriend. It is an extensive self-evaluation that’ll determine if you should actually return. Even if you are 100% sure you want to go back with your ex, it is important to take the time to get to know each other.
At this point, your needs should come first. You can use your extra time to work on your emotions. Practice a new hobby, take care of your health by joining a gym, or placing yourself on a diet. Take the opportunity to leave home, see your friends, do what makes you happy. Read a book, go on vacation, hiking, or more.
2. Do it naturally
You don’t have to look desperate while trying to win back your boyfriend. Give him time and don’t rush things. You should not let him know right away that you want to return.
This can hurt your chances of winning him back and ruining your plans for good. Let things happen naturally, don’t push yourself. Don’t disturb him with calls, text messages, or emails.
3. Reestablish Contact
After you have decided to win back your boyfriend, you can send a text message to reestablish contact with the ex. It has to be something light and casual. Your text should be filled with despair. Texts are ideal because they are more casual than a phone call.
It’s not advisable to say something intense like ‘I can’t live without you’ or ‘life has been miserable without you.’ Say something funny that happened to you or something interesting that reminded you of him. It could also be something light and honest. Do away with pretense and lies.
4. Promote Reunion
After reestablishing contacts, the next thing to do is to ask for a time out. You can book a coffee shop or a restaurant you both loved. It will help bring back the memories of the good times you both had.
It is best for you to schedule the meeting during the day in a public place. It sends across a subtle message of openness and makes things look more natural and genuine.
Let your meeting be fun and friendly. Approach him like a mere friend and not a past lover. You don’t have to say anything about getting back together during this meeting. Allow things to happen naturally. Have a great time, chat, laugh and be happy.
5. Bring back the memories
Relive the good memories you both had. Talk about the fun times you had together, the games, vacations, friends, adventures, and more. This is a good way to rekindle the old flame. Talking about these great times you both had in the past will help you see the good in your relationship. It will also help him be more open to reconciliation.
At a point, the quarrels you had may creep in but when they do, don’t allow them to dwell. Talk about the good memories and be happy.
6. Be your best
This is not the period to play games, act closed off, cause problems, or beat around the bush. Since you have decided to win back your ex and make him fall in love with you again, you will need to recall the good things that he saw in you and that attracted him. These are what you’ll improve on and also, make him see more of it.
If your ex was attracted to you because of your dancing skills, you can talk to him about new dance steps you learned and perhaps dancing shows you went for while you guys were on a break.
If he admires your drawings, you can show him new arts you drew and how much you have improved. These and more will make him interested in you and miss the times you had together.
7. Be patient
Winning back your boyfriend requires a lot of patience. This is perhaps the most difficult part. But, you need to be very patient when talking to your ex again. Sometimes you may not get the result you wanted. Things may be a little more difficult than expected because he may be acting uptight or probably trying to move on.
Don’t panic if he or she does not respond to your first message, take a deep breath and remain calm. Just wait and see if he responds. Otherwise, try again in a few days. Don’t send him numerous messages or call him frequently. Take things easy, he may also be having a difficult time.