Please help me. I am 38 and unmarried. I have been very unlucky when it comes to relationships and that is one of the reasons why I am still unmarried. In addition to that, I think I have problems with my attitude. The way I react or approach people usually turns them off and they tend to withdraw from me. I speak to people in a derogatory manner and they begin to avoid me. I have had so many suitors before but after about two weeks or a month, they stop calling or picking my calls.
I know I have problems and that is why I am writing to you for help. I have two younger sisters and they are both married with kids. My immediate younger sister already has three kids while the other one has two. It is weighing me down. Even at home my parents don’t like me so much because I always disagree with them. I don’t have anyone I am very close to at home because they all see me like a troublesome person and because I am older than them, they rarely advise me or challenge my decisions. As far back as I can remember, this started when we were still very young and I used to feel it was okay. I didn’t like people taking advantage of me or doing things wrongly just because they can.
This made me always quarrel with my siblings including my parents. They always complained about my behavior but I felt I was only standing up for myself and wanted the best treatment for myself and others too. Little did I know I was going the wrong way. My suitors all stop calling me after sometime and they don’t answer when I call back. Age is no longer on my side and I need a husband by all means. I want to marry and also take care of myself and that is why I am seeking help. I want to know how I can speak to people in a calm and positive way.
I earn well and I am also very beautiful. Men still approach me and I want to improve the way I speak to them. Maintaining a relationship is very difficult for me. Sometimes I don’t call my partner if they don’t call me and even when I do something wrong I find it difficult to apologize to the person. I have tried to stop it but I can’t. I always feel like they will look down on me when I apologize and because I earn well, I feel like I don’t have anything to lose. I have a car, a well furnished and good looking house and enough money to buy me anything I want so a man’s money cannot move me or make me agree to everything he says.
I want to stop. I want to be flexible. I want to love, I want to have a good relationship with people. To crown it all, age is no longer on my side. Most of my mates are married with lovely kids. I want to be a mother too and experience the joy of having my own family. At work I also have strained relationships with my colleagues. I know I have a problem and that is why I am seeking help from this community. Please I need your advice on what to do to become a better person. I am willing to do anything. Please help me.