I am a sex-starved husband. My wife avoids me and it is ruining our communication.

Good day. Please share this with your community. I am a sex-starved husband. I’ve been married for 4 years with a pretty daughter. Before my wife got pregnant, sex was great and we had fun. I mean, good fun. I always looked forward to coming home in order to meet my wife. I love her so much and she loves me too. When she got pregnant, things changed. We stopped having sex and I understood perfectly. After all, it was supposed to be so. I didn’t want anything to hurt her so I stayed away. 

This lingered because she delivered through a cesarean section. Because of that, I was advised to give her some time to heal properly. It was okay with me. All I wanted was my wife’s sound health and peace. I didn’t bother to pester her or put unnecessary pressure on her. I stayed for a very long time before I spoke to her about it. The first time I asked her if it was time for us to get back our usual sex life, she said no and backed it up with the reason that she was not fully herself. She said I should give her about a month later so she could heal properly. 

I understood her and life went on. I would do all the house chores, help her have her bath and also cook. I ensured she was strong and safe. With the help of her mom, I took care of our baby. Two months later, I made advances to her but she turned me down. She doesn’t even want to hear about sex or anything that will lead to it. I have tried speaking to her about the negative effects it is having on me but she doesn’t understand. 

Lately, she avoids coming into our room early in the night. She always stays in the sitting room with her mom or sees a movie. She tries so much to come in only when I have slept. This is frustrating. I come home from work everyday after the day’s work and I don’t get to be warmly welcomed by my wife. This has affected our conversation because she always feels I will talk about sex. 

I understand it may be as a result of the CS she had but it’s been a very long time and she has healed completely. My wife does not even allow me to kiss her because she feels it will progress into sex. I have tried everything possible but all to no avail. My friend noticed my mood and persuaded me to talk to him. I did and he suggested I seek solace elsewhere. 

I love my wife so much and I don’t want to cheat on her. But ever since my friend told me about having sex with someone else, it has been on my mind. I haven’t had sex for almost two years now it is beginning to frustrate every aspect of my life. My wife doesn’t seem to understand this and it makes everything worse. I need help. How do I convince her to come around? I don’t want to cheat on her. 

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