I Am Certain That It’s Time, But How Do I Get My Ass in Gear?

Bayo Ajibola

I have been with my spouse for nearly 3 years now. At the beginning, I was head over heels and deeply in love with this him. He could do no wrong. Throughout the course of our relationship, I have overlooked several red flags in reference to his gas lighting, taking me (hes always lived in my house and driven my car) for granted, shit talking me to his mother, and being basically unreciprocated (no foreplay, won’t rub/scratch/touch my back but I do it all the time for him, he won’t cook any meals that involve effort, will never manage his money for the home and spends his income on weed).

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a lot of love for him, and I believe that I am still deeply in love with him. I love us, but he is not nice to me or for me. I’ve known for awhile, but I have tried to ignore and deny it with the hope that things would improve, but I’m fed up with this rollercoaster and I want off. We’ve been fighting a great deal lately, and I said to myself a week ago that “I’m not here for this, but I love you. I’m throwing the hat in.” We haven’t talked about it, and I will not kick-off a massive fight as I do not have the strength left.

With that being said, how do I go about this? We live in a home that I have rented for 5 years, and all of the utilities are, needless to say, in my name. I am able and ready to pay rent without any help (I pay utilities and car, he pays cheap rent and buys food) and manage everything like I have before. I have never had a single reason to ask him for anything and he has never made any effort to help either. He came to me from his parents home, which I care enough to not send him back to.

How do I tell him this is finished and initiate this, and where do I send him/drop him off? I know it is not my issue, but I still care for him as a human being.


Bayo Ajibola

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