I honestly do not understand men these days. Before I got married, everyone kept advising me to take my time and study the man I intend to marry before I settle down. I took this advice seriously. I thoroughly scrutinized men that came my way. It was also part of the reasons why I didn’t settle down in time. I finally met this man when I was 27 and it felt like he was different from everyone else. I thought I had found the one who would compliment me and make this life’s journey worthwhile but seven years down the line, I am here and all I feel is anger and regrets. After two years of dating we got married and had two kids in our seven years of marriage.
I am the typical African wife and mother. I hold my family dearly and I take care of my husband and children properly just like I was admonished by my parents and friends. I have sacrificed everything possible for my family. I work late into the night and rise up early to put things in order for the day. I pay bills and also contribute to school fees and house rent while providing food for the family too. Because of how busy I usually am, I rarely have time to spend long hours on my phone. I only check important messages and browse important things then rest. I was on leave for a month which gave me some time to spare. I watched movies, went out more with my husband and kids and also had a lot of free time for myself.
On an evening afternoon, my husband went for evening work out as he normally does but this time, without his phone. I got a hold of his phone and was casually going through the images. His camera was filled with pictures of my children and a few of mine and his. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular, I was just bored and going through his phone. When I got to the WhatsApp images, I noticed a picture of a particular boy. There were many. At first I didn’t take note of it but I saw them frequently and the one that struck me was that there was a picture where he was wearing a cloth my son has. My husband bought that cloth when he went to a work conference in the UK. I pressed further.
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I suddenly went to his Whatsapp and that was when I realized that the boy is my husband’s son and those pictures were sent by my husband. My husband buys him clothes, goes to see him frequently and of course sends money to his mom regularly. I was broken. The boy is currently 6years old which means he had this boy a long time ago and never cared to mention it. I feel so bad. I confronted him immediately when he came home but he didn’t deny it. He has been apologizing but I feel betrayed. 6 good years and he never cared to inform me. What more could he be hiding from me if he could hide this. I don’t want to continue with this marriage but I need to know if I am making the right decision or just overreacting.