I don’t love my boyfriend but he wants to marry me

I’m 29 and my boyfriend is 32. He wants to meet my parents and pay dowry but I don’t want him to. I really don’t want to get married. When he told me about it I told him to be a little patient so I can think about it.

There’s nothing to think about but I didn’t know what else to say. He’s a good man but he really gets on my nerves. He calls and texts regularly and it annoys me so much. Any communication from him gets me so irritated and I almost always have to fight the urge to ignore him or say something mean.

I feel bad for it because he showers me with love, regularly brings me gifts, gives me attention, and always shows up for me when I need him to. He treats me so well but my heart has refused to reciprocate this man’s love. I’ve really tried to love him but nothing has changed and we’ve been together for almost a year now.

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This is actually the longest relationship I’ve been in. Before I met him I would end relationships within days or just a week. Whenever a man wants to get serious or proposes marriage I automatically get irritated and want to end the relationship. I really can’t explain why it happens. Things took another dimension when I slept with him. I’d never slept with a man before so he was my first but since then I want nothing to do with him.

It has gotten to a point that I can’t hide it anymore. I’m only happy and at peace when I’m away from him. I can’t help it. How do I break this news to him without hurting his feelings?

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