Please hide my identity. I’m 29 and still very much single. I grew up in a very home where discipline and morality is the watchword. My family is a very religious one and we were all raised properly – at least in terms of the church and what she stands for. My parents hold vital positions in the church and we were also forced to join various groups in the church. Growing up, I loved praying and I did nothing but obey my parents. However, as time passed I began to lose interest in a lot of things. My perspective about life began to change. I saw the way people behaved towards marriage and I began to lose interest in any relationship that exceeds friendship. After some time, I found out that I was no longer interested in anything that had to do with relationships or marriage. I don’t feel bad about it, I thought about it for a very long time before I made the decision not to get married. My parents, especially my mom, have been trying everything within their power to see that I get married as soon as possible.
I have not told anyone about my decision not to get married. I can’t tell my mom, maybe not yet about that decision because she would overreact and I wouldn’t want anything that would place me in her bad book. She has been trying so much to connect me to people. Almost every month, my mom has one or two people that she likes and believes that they would make a good life partner. I don’t want to say my mom has a terrible taste in men but honestly, those she has been connecting me with are complete rubbish. I don’t know if it’s because I already decided that I don’t want to marry or because she didn’t get to know those people by herself. That is just one of my many problems. Another thing that worries me is that I don’t want to get married but I want to have a child of my own. I want to give birth to at least one child, preferably a boy. I am not getting any younger. It took me so much time to finally conclude on the decision that I don’t want to marry.
I am going to turn 30 next year and that is exactly the year I want to have my child and raise him or her the way I want. Remember that I come from a strict and highly religious family so I am confused and worried about how I am going to give them this information. I know that they will be very mad at me but honestly, that is what I want. I work. I have a good paying job and I am making progress in my career. I earn well and I am well respected in my place of work because of the value I bring there so I get perks which some other members of the company don’t get. I just want to say that I am doing well so I have enough to take care of any child I bring into this world. I love babies but I just don’t want to get married at all. I am worried about what people will think, especially my parents. They will be highly disappointed in me.
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Apart from that, I want to carry my own baby, I want to get pregnant and feel the bond between my child and I but I don’t want to marry. I will just find someone whom I believe is responsible and get pregnant through him. I just don’t know if I am making the right decision. I am also not sure that I am ready to face the public and all the criticisms they have or would like to dish out. I decided not to get married considering all that is happening in marriages these days. I love my sanity and I want to be happy. I want true peace of mind and the only way I can achieve that is by staying on my own. Please, what I need is advice. How do I convince my parents about what I want? I know that it will be difficult but that is what I want.