I have been married for about six years and I sincerely held marriage in high regard when I started out. Things have changed and I feel like leaving this marriage and taking my children with me. We have two kids together. Three years ago I left my banking job to better raise the kids and run our family business. The business is in my husband’s name. My husband works in another town a little far from where we are so he only comes on weekends. His communication is very wanting. He doesn’t call at all unless it’s about the business. On some days he’ll text me goodnight but that’s it unless I call him.
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I’ve noticed a change in his patterns lately. He only comes home when he has something to attend to other than family issues, and he’ll take every opportunity that presents itself to leave. There’s always time for everything else but the family and he’ll always give excuses when I ask him to do something pertaining to the family. Some may think I’m being petty but he’ll even give reasons why he can’t take the kids to the hospital when they fall sick and he’s around. It really feels like he doesn’t care about us and I feel like moving out and just being alone with the kids. It’s not like there’ll be much of a difference anyway.
Everything we own is in his name because that’s how he registered them. The business, car, and the land that our house sits on are all in his name yet I have also contributed financially to their acquisition. He doesn’t let me in on business operations. I have no idea who supplies goods to the business and he doesn’t let me handle any of it or interact with the suppliers. He does all the purchases when he comes over the weekend.
I feel like a figurehead in this union. I’m here only to be seen, and barely at that. I feel like I have no voice and I’m offering free labor. There’s nothing to show for my current life and self except for the children. I do love my children but I want more for myself. My marriage feels non-existent. What happens to all the hard work I’m putting in here yet it’s not being acknowledged?
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Aren’t I better off going my own way and using the money I make to buy things and make investments in my name? What if I stay and something happens between us and he chooses to disinherit me or something? I’ll have wasted my life and years even further! I don’t want to look back and regret using my most productive years to build wealth that I won’t benefit from. Am I going about this the wrong way? Shouldn’t couples register their property as joint property when they are married? Am I wrong for wanting to be involved more? Are my worries legitimate? I need advice on the best course of action for me right now.