I got a scholarship to study abroad but my husband wants me to turn it down.

Please let me know when you post it. I am in the middle of something really tight and difficult right now. I am a mother of two great kids. A boy and a girl. They are aged 9 and 5 respectively. My husband is a great husband and he is one of the most supportive men I have ever met. All the while we have been married, he has been nothing short of supportive, lovely and great. We met through a friend and even though we didn’t date for long as people advised we have never had irreconcilable differences. We just dated for nine months and we settled down. I work as a lecturer for a health institution here in Nigeria. Even before I met my husband, I had been applying for scholarships abroad. I have also been taking online courses, volunteering, doing virtually everything that will increase my chances of getting admitted or granted a scholarship into a reputable university abroad. My husband is aware of this. He has even been helping out with essays and numerous applications. We both have been saying that the goal is to leave Nigeria so that we can have a good life and also give our kids a good future. There was even a time that he was applying for jobs abroad. 

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Well, I got a scholarship to do my masters abroad and my husband is suddenly against the whole idea of me leaving. I do not even understand him. Yes he has his reasons and all but this is a lifetime opportunity that anyone sensible would never intend to miss. According to him, he said that I should not leave our kids because they are too tender. I understand what he is trying to say but for someone to get something in life, he or she has to sacrifice something. An opportunity has come for me and the best thing for me to do is to make sacrifices. When I got the email containing my scholarship offer, I was really really excited but at the same time I has mixed feelings. I thought about my two lovely kids and I couldn’t even wrap my head around the thought of leaving them. They are so lovely. They make my life really beautiful and sincere I gave birth to them, I have never spent a long time away from them. They have been with me since birth and the thought of suddenly letting go of them broke me. 

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I thought about my husband too. Like I said before, he is a really great man and one of the best decisions I made in life was agreeing to marry him. He loves me so much and I don’t even need anyone to tell me. I thought about staying away from him but it broke my heart. It was so bad that I didn’t even share the news with him until the next day in the morning when we were preparing for work. He was really excited and proud of me. He supported me initially and said we would make better plans when we got back from work that day. I was relieved that he didn’t act up but the next day we spoke about it and he said he doesn’t think it’s a nice decision for me to go considering that our kids are young and it is their formative years. I was broken even though I tried to understand the point he was trying to make. I tried to explain to him why I couldn’t miss this opportunity but he wasn’t interested. I suggested we give the kids to his mom who is still very young and the kids love her but he said no. I honestly don’t know what to do. I can’t go without his consent and I can’t miss this opportunity either. What should I do?  


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